Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is true that some of the people argue about the primary school prioritize on formal learning.
In some instance, It was very prominent in the very ancient days but nowadays lots of extra curricular activities are included in the school . So, I disagree the statement. As the global world is modernizing, primary teacher are focusing on various activities which help to enhance physical, mental and emotional well being. For an example, Swimming, Self defense classes, Dancing , Art , Self reliance training such as cooking skills, etc. are launched in the school which increase secondary learning.
From my point of view, Children are foundation of adulthood. If they are properly nutured they will be a good human beings. Formal learning and other extracurricular activities are the two side of the same coin. Formal learning increase the professionalism where as other activities strengthen the mental, physical and survival growth. Most of the people leave the home in the sake of study and other purposes . If they are properly trained about the self defence skills, cooking skills and other activities then he/she don't need no one for the survival. Extracurricular activities boost up the body immunity power, mental health and energy so that he/she can do task very easily and efficiently.
Primary schools should prioritize both formal learning as well as other activities to the children. Children are the foundation of the future so effective plan and policies should be made and implement in school for the prosperity of the children.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention activities like swimming and cooking, the link between these and the argument is not fully explored. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments lack depth and specific examples from personal experience or broader knowledge. To reach a higher band, you should expand on how these activities specifically benefit a child's development rather than simply listing them. The conclusion is brief and repeats the introduction's sentiment rather than synthesizing the main points effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'In some instance' is grammatically incorrect and used as a transition, and 'the two side of the same coin' is a clunky way to link ideas. The progression of ideas within paragraphs is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the second paragraph where the transition from historical context to modern activities is abrupt. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words beyond simple conjunctions.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'primary school prioritize on' and 'leave the home in the sake of study'. The phrase 'body immunity power' is non-standard. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'extracurricular' and 'professionalism', the overall control is limited. To improve, focus on learning collocations and more natural phrasing to express complex ideas, as the current vocabulary often sounds like a direct translation from another language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('primary teacher are'), missing articles ('the primary school'), and incorrect preposition usage. There is also a double negative in 'he/she don't need no one', which is grammatically incorrect. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. You should focus on proofreading for basic errors like pluralization and verb tense consistency.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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