Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
PRIMARY SCHOOL PLAY A VITAL ROLE IN SHAPE THE CHILDERN CAREER. IN RECENT DECADES, PRIMARY SCHOOL FOCUS ON FORMAL LEARNING HAS BECOME A SUBJECT OF INTENSE DEBATE. FORMAL LEARNING IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE ITS BASE OF CHILDERN CAREER, IN ADDITION CHILDERN ALSO GAIN KNOWLEDGE AND FORMAL LEARNING HELPS TO FIND OUT WHICH AREAS VERY INTERESTING FOR CHILDREN. I PARTIALLY AGREE WITH THE STATEMENT BECAUSE PRACTCAL KNOWLEDGE ALSO SINGNIFICANT IMPORTRANTCE IN SCHOOLS. IF BOTH OF THESE EXIST TOGETHER THEN IT WOULD BRING GREATER BENEFITS.
A PRIMARY SCHOOL CAN TEACH FORMAL LEARNING DUE TO ITS BASE OF CHILDERN CAREER. STUDENTS CAN GAIN KNOWLEDGE FROM FORMAL LEARNING. FOR INSTANCE, MATHS, ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENCE AND ENGLISH, THOSE SUBJECT ARE VERY IMPORTANT FOR CHILDREN, THROUGH EDUCATION CRICULARM, CHILDREN CAN AKNOWLDGE ABOUT BASIC FORMULA AND LEARN ENGLISH BASE. PRIMARY SCHOOL ALSON HELP TO IDENTIFY STUDENT INTREST. FOR EXAMPLE CHILREN CAN KNOW ABOUT WHICH SUBJECT HAVE THE MORE INREST LIKE MATHS OR ENGLISH.
ON THE OTHER HAND, TOO MUCH FOCUS ON FORMAL LEARNING CAN HARMFULL FOR CHILDREN. FIRST OF ALL, PRIMARY EDUCATION CAN ALSO FOCUS ON CHILDREN SPORTS AND SOME PRACTICAL SKILLS. FOR EXAMPLE, PRIMARY SCHOOL CAN ORGANISE SPORTS DAY FOR STUDENTS, DANCING PROGRAME, PRACTICLE KNOWLEDGE IN SCIENCE LIKE VOLCANO ACTIVITY,GRAVITY. IF PRIMARY EDUCATION CAN BALANCE FORMAL LEARNING AND ADDITIONAL ACTIVITIES, SO CHILDREN CAN NEVER BORED IN STUDY AND PRACTICAL KNOWLEDGE IN SCIENCE CAN INCRESE CHILDREN INTREST IN SCIENCE. IN ADDITION, FORMAL LEARNING AND PRACTICAL SKILLS CAN IMPROVE CHILDREN CAREER.
IN GENERAL, FORMAL LEARNING IMPORTANT FOR CHILDREN BUT TOO MUCH FOCUS ON THAT ITS NOT RIGHT, HOWEVER BALANCED FOCUS ON FORMAL LEARNING AND PRACTICAL KNOWLDGE CAN MAKE BRIGHT FUTURE FOR CHILDREN.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. For instance, the argument that formal learning is the 'base of children career' is stated multiple times without further elaboration. While the position is clear, the supporting examples, such as 'volcano activity', are brief and could be better integrated to illustrate the benefits of play. To reach a higher band, you should expand on the 'why' and 'how' behind your arguments rather than simply listing activities.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'For example' and 'In addition'. Some transitions feel forced, and the logical flow between sentences is occasionally hindered by grammatical errors. Referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly when using pronouns like 'that' or 'those'. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive, with several spelling errors that occasionally distract the reader, such as 'CHILDERN' (children), 'CRICULARM' (curriculum), 'AKNOWLDGE' (acknowledge), and 'INTREST' (interest). The range of vocabulary is sufficient to convey basic meaning but lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. You rely on simple descriptors and struggle with word forms, such as using 'harmfull' as an adjective where a verb phrase was needed. Expanding your vocabulary to include more academic collocations would improve your score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'PRIMARY SCHOOL FOCUS'), missing articles, and incorrect word order. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several run-on sentences and missing spaces after commas. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and spelling prevents the text from achieving a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and basic sentence construction will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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