Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Nowadays, learning play a crucial role in every aspects of the life wheather its formal or informal. Some People believes that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.However, I agree with this situation. This is because children remained organized with the study pattern.
Formal learnings have both advantages and disadvantages. Its beneficial at Primary level because children had not shapen memory to keep the huge information with them. The fixed time table Provide them some free time. Additionally, they had liked to play games. However, they know about how much Syllabus covered within given time period. They have the opportunities to work under guidance of the teachers. Although, they were well prepared about their exams. For instance, formal learning creates the habits of reading, writing as well as understands mathematics.
On the other hand, fixed Syllabus had reduced the broader vision of thinking. However, their minds get stuck with limited knowledge. Although, there main focus would be on pre-defined slaybus which reduced the ability to think out of the box. They are sticked on their time table rather than giving importance to some other activities. For instance, if a childran had full focus on formal learning it could distract from other activities. Because educational play palyed a significant role that were beneficial for their fitnesses.
Overall, in my opinion that schools should be given major priorities in building a formal learning. I believe that when maintaining balance between formal learning and educational play could help in the development of children's career more smoother.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt, but the development of ideas is inconsistent. While you state your position, the reasoning is often repetitive or unclear, such as the contradictory statements regarding the benefits of formal learning. The argument lacks depth; for instance, you mention 'fitnesses' and 'educational play' but do not explain how these integrate into a primary school setting effectively. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, well-supported idea that directly answers the 'to what extent' and 'how important' components of the question. The conclusion is somewhat contradictory to the body paragraphs, which weakens the overall clarity of your position.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'However' is used at the start of sentences where it does not logically contrast with the previous statement, such as 'However, I agree with this situation.' Referencing is also problematic; the use of 'they' and 'their' is frequently ambiguous, making it difficult for the reader to track whether you are referring to children, teachers, or the schools themselves. Improving the logical flow between sentences and using a wider variety of linking words would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'formal learning' and 'play' throughout the text. There are several instances of word-choice errors and non-standard collocations, such as 'shapen memory,' 'slaybus' (spelling error), and 'fitnesses.' Additionally, 'sticked' is an incorrect form of the verb 'stick.' To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise academic vocabulary and ensure that your word choices are appropriate for the context. Expanding your range of synonyms and focusing on correct word forms will help convey your ideas more professionally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'learning play a crucial role,' 'Some People believes,' 'childran had'), tense usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are simple or contain errors in complex structures, such as 'when maintaining balance... could help.' Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and capitalization. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree, and proofreading for common errors in tense and pluralization before finalizing your work.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.