Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, education play a crucial role in every aspect of the life whether it's formal or informal. Some People believe that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.However , I agree with this situation. This is because children remain organized with the study pattern.

Formal learnings have both advantages and disadvantages. It's beneficial at Primary level because children had not sharpen memory to keep the huge information with them. The fixed time table Provide them some free time. Additionally, they had liked to play games. However , they know about how much syllabus covered within given time period. They have the opportunities to work under guidance of the teachers. Although, they were well prepared about their exams. For instance, formal learning creates the habits of reading, writing as well as understands mathematics.

On the other hand, fixed syllabus reduces the broader vision of thinking. Furthermore , their minds get stuck with limited knowledge. Although, there main focus would be on pre-defined syllabus which reduces the ability to think out of the box. They are stuck on their time table rather than giving importance to some other activities. For instance, if a child had full focus on formal learning it could be distracted from other activities. Because educational play palyed a significant role that were beneficial for their fitness.

Overall, in my opinion that schools should be given major priorities in building a formal learning. I believe that maintaining balance between formal learning and educational play could help in the development of children career more smoothly.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, but the development of ideas is inconsistent. While you state your position, the arguments are somewhat contradictory; you argue that formal learning is beneficial, then list its disadvantages, and finally conclude that schools should prioritize formal learning. This lack of a clear, sustained position makes the argument difficult to follow. Some points, such as 'children had not sharpen memory,' are under-developed and lack clear logical support. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, well-explained argument that directly supports your thesis statement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression between ideas is often weak. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Additionally,' 'However,' and 'For instance,' they are sometimes used incorrectly or do not effectively link the sentences. For example, the transition 'Although, they were well prepared about their exams' does not logically follow the previous sentence. Furthermore, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the final paragraph where the connection between 'educational play' and the conclusion is abrupt. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each sentence flows naturally from the last will enhance the coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. You rely on basic terms like 'good,' 'play,' and 'study,' and there are some awkward collocations, such as 'educational play' and 'sharpen memory.' There are also minor errors in word form, such as 'palyed' (spelling) and 'understand' instead of 'understanding.' To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to education, such as 'pedagogical approaches,' 'holistic development,' or 'academic rigor,' and ensure you use words in their correct grammatical form.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('education play,' 'children had not sharpen'), incorrect tense usage ('they had liked to play'), and punctuation errors, particularly with spacing around commas and periods. The misuse of articles and prepositions is also noticeable. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement and tense consistency. Reducing these frequent errors will significantly improve the readability and accuracy of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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