Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is often argued that academic education is dominant in primary education. I believe that a balanced approach, which combines formal education and play time, is best for students.

I agree that academia plays a vital role in a child's life. Without proper education, children will struggle to excel in life. However, formal education puts a great deal of pressure on students and overemphasizes the need for tests and exams. In many countries, competitive university admissions create pressure on schools to prioritize measurable academic outcomes from an early age. For instance, in Pakistan, exam-oriented culture is quite prevalent and often overlooks the creativity and critical thinking skills of students. If the trend continues unchecked, children may develop academic skills at the cost of curiosity and independent thought, which are equally vital for long-term success.

That said, play time should not be viewed separately from learning. Playing can significantly improve learning as it increases children's cognitive development and critical thinking. Play activities that involve problem-solving are closely linked to helping children build better cognitive development, which can not be achieved in a classroom. Moreover, group activities can contribute to better social skills, negotiation, and emotional regulation that formal classes rarely teach. Hence, a classroom that blends both methods of learning is far more likely to produce well-rounded learners than one built solely around formal instruction.

In conclusion, while formal education is primarily focused on serving children well, the combination of academic learning and playtime will serve them better. This approach focuses on social skills, creativity, and cognitive developments, which are equally beneficial for children

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed both parts of the prompt clearly. Your position is consistent throughout, and you provide relevant arguments regarding the pressure of formal education and the benefits of play-based learning. The example from Pakistan is a good, specific illustration that supports your argument well. To reach a higher band, ensure that your conclusion does not simply restate the introduction but synthesizes the main points more effectively. Additionally, while your ideas are relevant, some points—such as the claim that play-based cognitive development cannot be achieved in a classroom—could be further nuanced to show a deeper understanding of educational theory.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized, with a clear progression from the problem of formal education to the benefits of play. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate distinct ideas. You use cohesive devices such as 'That said,' 'Moreover,' and 'Hence' to link your arguments. However, the flow could be improved by using a wider variety of cohesive markers to avoid a slightly mechanical feel. For instance, the transition between the second and third paragraphs is clear, but the concluding paragraph feels a bit abrupt and lacks a strong final summary sentence to tie the entire argument together.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with some precision. Phrases like 'exam-oriented culture,' 'cognitive development,' and 'well-rounded learners' are appropriate and effective. There is some repetition of basic words like 'education' and 'learning.' To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms or collocations to express your ideas. For example, instead of repeating 'formal education,' you could use 'didactic instruction' or 'academic rigor.' Your word choice is generally accurate, and there are no spelling errors that impede communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures effectively. Most of your sentences are clear and error-free, which allows for easy reading. There are a few minor issues, such as the phrase 'which can not be achieved in a classroom,' where the phrasing is slightly clunky. Additionally, ensure consistent subject-verb agreement and article usage. While your grammar is generally strong, you could aim for more complex sentence patterns, such as using conditional clauses or passive voice more frequently, to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical control.

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