Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Nowadays, education plays a crucial role in every aspect of the life whether it's formal or informal. Some People believe that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.However, I agree with this situation. This is because children remain organized with the study pattern.
Formal learning have both advantages and disadvantages. It's beneficial at Primary level because children do not have sharp memory to keep the huge information with them. The fixed timetable Provides them some free time. Additionally, they like to play games. However, they know about how much syllabus covered within a given time period. They have the opportunities to work under the guidance of the teachers. Furthermore, they were well prepared for their exams. For instance, formal learning creates the habits of reading, writing as well as understanding of mathematics.
On the other hand, fixed syllabus reduces the broader vision of thinking. However, their minds get stuck with limited knowledge. Instead, their main focus would be on pre-defined syllabus which reduces the ability to think out of the box. They are stuck on their timetable rather than giving importance to some other activities. For instance, if a child has full focus on formal learning it could be distracted from other activities. Because educational play played a significant role that were beneficial for their fitness.
Overall, in my opinion schools should be given major priorities in building a formal learning. I believe that maintaining balance between formal learning and educational play could help in the development of children's career more smoothly.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt, though the development of ideas is somewhat inconsistent. You clearly state your position in the introduction and conclusion, and you provide reasons for both the necessity of formal learning and the importance of play. However, some arguments are underdeveloped or slightly contradictory. For instance, you state you agree that schools focus too much on formal learning, but then argue that formal learning is beneficial because children lack memory. The link between these points could be more clearly articulated to show a cohesive argument. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting examples directly reinforce your main position throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'On the other hand', and 'For instance' to link ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as the transition 'However, I agree with this situation' following the prompt. Additionally, some sentences within paragraphs lack smooth transitions, making the flow feel a bit disjointed. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly enhance the overall coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some relevant terms like 'formal learning', 'syllabus', and 'educational play'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of imprecise word choice, such as 'keep the huge information' instead of 'retain large amounts of information' and 'distracted from other activities' instead of 'deprived of other activities'. To improve, try to incorporate more precise collocations and a wider range of academic vocabulary to demonstrate greater flexibility and control over your word choices.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt to use complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('Formal learning have', 'educational play played') and tense consistency ('they were well prepared'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some missing spaces after periods and unnecessary capitalization. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to affect the overall fluency of the text. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and refining your use of complex sentence structures will help you achieve a higher score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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