Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is argued that primary schools emphasis much on formal learning than for children to play. I agree with this view to large extend, although academic learning is essential for primary schools also play is equally important for children development.

Formal education is crucially necessary in primary schools. Children need to learn the basic skills such as reading, writing and mathematics which helps to form the foundation for the future education. Learning regular lessons help them to maintain discipline throughout their life and learning basic mathematics in primary school develop their ability to perform or learn middle to advance level of solving skills. Therefore, formal learning should remain important part of primary school.

However, I believe that many schools mainly emphasis on textbook, homework and examinations. Young children excessively learn when they are involved rather than simply listening to the teachers and memorising information. Play activities can make lessons more actively and enjoyable while also developing cognitive skills. A teacher could use a simple vocabulary to help students to learn new word and can organise a group activity where a students solve a simple puzzle.

In my view, play should not be considered only form of learning process. It can be consider an effective method of learning especially for young children. A balanced classroom can be a combined form of learning instructions with educational game activity where children can learn in enjoyable manner without unnecessary stress.

In conclusion, I agreed that primary schools too heavily focus on formal learning but academic learning are also essential, equally play aswell because it helps to children to develop emotional and intellectual development. Therefore, primary schools should maintain a healthy balanced between academic learning and play.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding the focus on formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while you mention that play develops cognitive skills, you could have provided a more concrete example of how a specific game facilitates this. The conclusion is a bit repetitive, restating the introduction rather than synthesizing the main points. To reach a higher band, ensure that each body paragraph fully explores the 'why' and 'how' behind your arguments with more depth.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'However', 'Therefore', and 'In my view' to link sentences. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing and flow, such as the phrase 'play should not be considered only form of learning process', which lacks a determiner. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'cognitive skills', 'formal education', and 'intellectual development'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'emphasis much on' (should be 'place too much emphasis on') and 'make lessons more actively' (should be 'more active'). To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing. The range is sufficient to communicate, but lacks the flexibility and sophistication required for a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb forms and articles. Examples include 'academic learning are also essential' (subject-verb agreement), 'help to children to develop' (incorrect preposition usage), and 'can be consider' (should be 'considered'). These errors do not impede communication, but they are noticeable. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of passive voice constructions. Increasing the variety of complex structures while maintaining accuracy will help raise your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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