Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, primary schools are giving most of the concentration towards formal learning, which has created a controversy because some individuals think that playing is an important part as well as formal learning. In my concern, I also believe that kids need to play for their better development.

Recently, education system has adapted faster than before it was used to be, which has a great impact on students of primary levels because of their curriculum is also changing rapidly. Again, it is noticeable change is that the new progress in education has created more advancement in their future, which is good. For instance, these little kids are able to know about formal behavior towards their teachers, friends, classmates, and unknown people whenever they go places like institutional, governmental, competitional, neighbor, and unknown places .

Although formal learning has created more progress in their studies, it has also created so much pressure on this kids, which can have a knock-off effect on their mental well-being. Childhood is the best period for the growth of their mental health. Moreover, if they are unable to do activities for fun, they will lose their interest towards any works. For example, a research has been made to know about children's growth where two sections were created, one was teaching formally and another was using the method of playing. In that research a concerning things got to know which is the students were learning faster who were learning by using the method of playing. Also noticeable thing was that their innovative ideas were better than formal learners.

In the conclusion it is really seen that a students can grow faster if they get interest in learning methods. However, formal is good but playing makes the students more better.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention the pressure of formal learning and the benefits of play, the arguments could be more thoroughly supported with specific, real-world examples rather than vague references to 'a research'. The conclusion is brief and lacks a summary of the main points. To improve, ensure each body paragraph has a clear topic sentence and more detailed, logical progression of ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'Again, it is noticeable change is that...' and 'In the conclusion it is really seen that...'. Some transitions between sentences feel abrupt, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the second paragraph where the list of places is disjointed. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help the flow of your writing significantly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

You have an adequate range of vocabulary to express your ideas, but there are several instances of imprecise word choice and awkward phrasing. For example, 'giving most of the concentration towards' should be 'focusing primarily on', and 'knock-off effect' is used incorrectly here (it usually refers to cheap imitations). Phrases like 'institutional, governmental, competitional, neighbor' are not natural collocations. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring that word combinations (collocations) sound natural to a native speaker.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('a students can grow', 'this kids'), incorrect article usage, and awkward sentence construction ('a research has been made to know about children's growth'). While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic errors like pluralization and verb tense consistency to improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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