Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Today, many primary schools place a strong emphasis on traditional, formal learning. While this structure helps children prepare for future academic challenges, I agree that schools focus too much on desk-work. I firmly believe that allowing children to play in the classroom is just as important as formal education for their healthy growth.

Clearly, structured lessons help young students build essential life skills. As educational standards rise, formal rules teach children how to behave appropriately around teachers and classmates. For example, following a structured school routine teaches young learners discipline, which is highly useful when they transition to high school or future jobs. However, when schools focus strictly on textbooks and exams, it puts a heavy mental burden on young pupils.

At the same time, allowing time for play is necessary to protect a child's mental health and keep them motivated. Early childhood should be a time for fun, and too much academic pressure can make children dislike school entirely. Educational studies show that children actually learn much faster when lessons include games. For instance, research comparing traditional teaching with play-based methods found that students who learned through games understood concepts more quickly. They were also much better at coming up with creative ideas than those who only sat at desks.

In conclusion, although formal teaching is necessary to build discipline and basic skills, focusing on it exclusively places too much stress on young minds. A balanced approach that blends learning with play is a much better choice because it makes education both effective and enjoyable for young children.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt clearly. You establish a firm position in the introduction and maintain it throughout the essay. Both parts of the question—the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play—are well-developed with relevant supporting arguments. The ideas are extended logically, such as the discussion on discipline versus the mental burden of excessive academic pressure. To reach a higher band, you could provide more specific examples or personal experiences, as requested by the prompt, rather than relying solely on general observations about 'educational studies'. Overall, the response is well-focused and directly answers the task requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the transition between the benefits of formal learning and the necessity of play is smooth. You use a range of cohesive devices effectively, such as 'While this structure helps', 'For example', 'At the same time', and 'In conclusion'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different aspects of the argument. The flow of information is natural, and the relationship between sentences is clear, making the essay easy to follow from start to finish.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with precision. Phrases like 'place a strong emphasis', 'essential life skills', 'mental burden', and 'play-based methods' show a good command of topic-specific language. The vocabulary is used naturally and accurately throughout the text. While the range is adequate for the task, incorporating a few more sophisticated or less common lexical items could elevate the score further. However, there are no significant errors in word choice or collocation, and the language used is consistently appropriate for an academic context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0

The essay displays a good variety of complex sentence structures, such as the use of concessive clauses ('While this structure helps...') and conditional-like structures ('...when schools focus strictly on...'). The majority of your sentences are error-free, and your control over punctuation is excellent. There are no major grammatical slips that impede communication. To achieve a higher band, you could experiment with a wider variety of advanced grammatical forms, such as passive voice constructions or more complex inversion, to demonstrate greater flexibility. Nevertheless, the current level of accuracy is high and supports clear communication.

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