Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There have been series of debates about how the elementary schools focus a lot on teaching basic school subjects. I agree that it's necessary for kids to engage in fun games along side with their studies. In the course of this essay, i would discuss reasons to my choice.

I strongly believe that children in elementary schools are at their early stages of learning. They are in the right stage in life where they can accumulate a good number of vast knowledge. Based on this, teachers tends to engage pupils in a lot of school work because of the activeness of their brain. As a result that, they tend to forget the need of fun games or plays which helps to sharpen the brain. For example, there is this popular saying " all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy". This particular quote emphasizes the need of games in the life of kids who are still tender.

In addition, exercises and fun activities are important for human development both for kids and adults too. Encouraging sport activities such as football, running and activities like school play, dance class and so on, helps in building pupils both intellectually and socially, for future purposes. For instance, a kid who perform poorly in school subject maybe good in other school activities like dance or sports. They child in question won't be able to find out or develop these talents if schools only focus on learning. But when schools become flexible with their activities, a poor performing kid will have other options to focus on, which will be beneficial in the kids future.

In conclusion, schools should endeavour to includes play time and sports in their curriculum because it's essential for a child's development as well as important for their future career.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that play helps with intellectual and social development, the arguments could be more thoroughly extended with more specific examples or deeper analysis. For instance, you mention 'future purposes' but do not elaborate on what these might be. The essay remains somewhat general, which prevents it from reaching a higher band. To improve, ensure each paragraph provides a clear, well-supported argument that directly links back to the prompt's focus on primary education.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. There is a clear progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'In addition', 'For instance', and 'In conclusion', which help the flow. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'As a result that' and 'They child in question'. Paragraphing is appropriate, but the internal cohesion within the second paragraph could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to connect the sentences more fluidly. Overall, the structure is clear and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some relevant phrases like 'accumulate a good number of vast knowledge' and 'intellectually and socially'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'series of debates' (should be 'a series of debates') and 'activeness of their brain' (a bit unnatural). You also rely on some repetitive phrasing. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary and ensure that collocations sound more natural to a native speaker.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'teachers tends to' (subject-verb agreement), 'As a result that' (incorrect prepositional phrase), and 'a kid who perform' (should be 'performs'). Punctuation is generally fine, but there are minor slips like the lowercase 'i' in the introduction. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that complex sentence structures are constructed accurately. Increasing the frequency of error-free sentences will help raise your score in this criterion.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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