Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Schools are the primary source of getting education for children. In this context, some people have the opinion that primary schools are extremely focused just on academic learning. In this essay, I will discuss this argument of people and give my opinion.

Schools are basically the places where parents send their children to seek education and to let their children know about the values of life. However, some people argue that schools only focus on academic education and lack in teaching their students the morals of life. I strongly agree with this opinion, because most of the schools are always busy in their own competition of grades in which every school wants to beat the other one. Therefore, they give so much academic burden to their children and do not focus on any other aspects. Now a days, I observed that the most significant interest of majority of schools' owners is to do business that how much students they can enrol and how much they can earn form it each year and completely ignore the fact that they have other responsibilities like character building and moral training of the students.

In my opinion, I believe that schools should conduct co-curricular activities because sometimes, students get bore of the tough academic syllabus. Activities like sports gala, debate and musical competitions give a break to their brains and after all these colourful activities, students tend to perform well in their academia. Moreover, the introduction of sports period in the timetable can be a really good step because it can give the students a feeling of mental relaxation, where they can play or do some physical exertion. These sort of activities have so much importance in the cognitive as well as physical development of the students, that cannot be possible by focusing only on the formal learning.

In conclusion, I would like to say that no doubt formal learning is the most significant part schools should focus on. However, only focusing on this part and ignoring all other aspects can lead to a drop in the academic performance and morality of the students. Therefore, schools should also pay attention towards extra-curricular activities for the betterment of their students.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding the focus on formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that schools are 'busy in their own competition of grades,' this point could be supported with more specific examples or deeper analysis. The discussion on the importance of play is relevant, but the arguments remain somewhat general. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with concrete evidence or logical consequences rather than just stating the opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the discussion of the problem from the proposed solutions. Cohesive devices such as 'However,' 'Moreover,' and 'In conclusion' are used to link ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For instance, the transition between the critique of school owners and the benefits of co-curricular activities could be more sophisticated to improve the overall progression of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'cognitive,' 'physical exertion,' and 'academic syllabus.' There are some instances of slightly unnatural phrasing, such as 'getting education' instead of 'receiving an education' or 'do business that how much students.' Additionally, 'get bore' should be 'get bored.' While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. Expanding your use of collocations and more academic synonyms would enhance the quality of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'Now a days, I observed' (should be 'Nowadays, I observe' or 'I have observed') and 'that cannot be possible' (should be 'which is not possible'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor errors in sentence construction. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of relative clauses will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.