Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is widely argued around the world that most of primary schools just focus on basics subjects learning rather to work on on so co-curricular activities. I firmly agree with statement because they think that they are not that much old to know about other skills. I believe that it is very important for primary schools to teach them about different skills along with this formal subjects.

Firstly, It is a myth about the primary school children that they are not capable of learning other extra skills along with basic subjects. So, normally schools focuses on teaching them just basic language and other subjects. For instances, In third world countries like in Pakistan and India it major draw back of primary school system and which leads to bad outcomes.

In my opinion, it is very invaluable for children between the age 5 to 10, to know their interest whether in sports or in books . Primary schools should play a key role to to tell them about their interest and work along with their formal education. For example, there are many athletes around the world, they are not able speak English language because they were totally interested in sports and no one helped them to get the basic education.

Furthermore, I think that there should many competition in primary school about cooking and different sports like exam for different subjects. Which will help children to be more active in the growing world and this is now common in many wealthy countries. Hence, it is crucial for children to learn skills according to their interest rather than just to focus on formal education in schools.

In a nutshell, I would argue that Primary schools should focus on the extra curricular classes and competition to make their school children more skilled in this competitive environment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you provide examples like athletes in third-world countries, the link between these examples and the argument is occasionally tenuous or lacks depth. The position is clear throughout, but the supporting arguments could be more thoroughly explored to reach a higher band. To improve, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, well-developed point that directly answers the 'how important' aspect of the prompt with more specific educational reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear overall progression. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Furthermore', and 'In a nutshell' to guide the reader. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly repetitive. Additionally, some sentences lack smooth transitions, making the flow feel a bit disjointed in places. For example, the transition between the discussion of third-world countries and the importance of identifying interests could be more fluid. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing is precise will help enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on somewhat basic phrasing, such as 'bad outcomes' or 'not that much old'. There are also some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'basics subjects learning' instead of 'basic subjects' or 'invaluable' when you likely meant 'valuable'. While your meaning is clear, the vocabulary does not demonstrate the flexibility or sophistication needed to move beyond a band 6.0. Try to incorporate more topic-specific collocations related to education and child development.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('schools focuses'), article usage ('the' before 'primary school'), and awkward phrasing ('they are not that much old'). Some sentences are also grammatically incomplete or incorrectly structured, such as 'there are many athletes around the world, they are not able speak'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall clarity and fluency of the text. Focusing on sentence construction and proofreading for basic errors will significantly improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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