Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some critics argue that primary schools give higher importance to formal learning. I completely agree with this opinion, because a perfect planned and structural education is better than learning spontaneously. It is very essential to include extracurricular activities along with regular academics.

Formal learning refers to a well planned educational system, following the perfect order; For example, present schools and collages. They have a specific timetable, in which time is allocated evenly for every task or for every subject. Students can learn many things in short period of time. In formal education students learn subjects in a systematic way of order with a organised structure syllabus. Time table not only focus on academic but also gives time for children to participate in extracurricular activities and sports. Extra activities are very important in the primary schools because it is the right time for children to concentrate on different things like, music, sports, etc.

But sometimes fixed timetables for such young people leads to counter-productivity. Even today some schools follow the traditional method of teaching. They focus only on teaching basic mathematical operations and basic language grammar, this prevent students from often facing born-out. There will be no much to teach to a student in primary schools. So, apart of education, children should also be allowed to play. Eventhough there are many advantages in formal learning, it would not suites to very young people. Their age is meant to play and to learning on their own instead sitting and learning in classrooms.

In conclusion, I would like to say that, even formal education is preferred and has many benefits, it is not suitable for primary school children.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, but the position is contradictory. In the introduction, you state you 'completely agree' that schools focus too much on formal learning, yet you immediately follow this by arguing that 'a perfect planned and structural education is better than learning spontaneously.' This inconsistency makes your overall stance unclear. While you discuss the importance of play, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the claim that 'there will be no much to teach to a student in primary schools' is an over-generalisation that weakens your argument. To improve, ensure your position is consistent throughout and provide more nuanced support for your claims.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, the transition 'But sometimes' at the start of the third paragraph is a bit abrupt, and the use of 'Eventhough' is grammatically incorrect. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'this prevent students from often facing born-out,' where the antecedent of 'this' is ambiguous. The progression of ideas within paragraphs could be smoother; sentences often feel like a list of points rather than a cohesive argument. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words would significantly enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and sophistication. You rely on repetitive phrasing, such as 'formal learning' and 'primary schools.' There are also several word-choice errors and non-standard collocations, such as 'perfect planned' (should be 'perfectly planned'), 'short period of time' (cliché), and 'facing born-out' (should be 'burnout'). While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of a wider range of academic vocabulary and the presence of errors in word formation prevent a higher score. Try to incorporate more precise synonyms and pay closer attention to word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally impede readability. Examples include: 'a perfect planned and structural education' (adjective/adverb error), 'present schools and collages' (spelling/usage), 'Time table not only focus' (subject-verb agreement), and 'it would not suites' (modal verb error). Punctuation is also problematic, particularly the misuse of semicolons and commas. While the meaning is usually understandable, the frequency of these errors suggests a need for more careful proofreading and a stronger grasp of basic grammatical rules.

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