Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many people believe that primary schools provide too much theoretical material for children. I agree with them, because some children are very hyperactive and they can find this quite boring to concentrate on theory, especially as they do not know the purpose of learning it. Furthermore, I think that various games should be included in curriculum, because they can help to motivate children to participate actively in the learning process.

Firstly, formal learning can be difficult for some children, especially for those who are very active or who only start their school education. Primary students, who do not get used to constant learning, cannot find a way to release their energy and learn new material. Moreover, children go to school not on their own initiative, thus they do not have any motivation to learn theory. For example, the academic performances of hyperactive children suffer due to their inability to concentrate on the material, although they are overall smart children.

Secondly, by including different activities, such as games, young students can become more engaged in the learning process. This is typical for children to explore the world and society through games, and school often abrupt this process loading them with various subjects. If children will play something related with actual topic at classes, it can help them to gradually restructure the information reception process and better understand information. For example, many primary teachers in Russia include some games for children to help them better understand the topic.

In conclusion, nowadays school children are overloaded with information, therefore including some games as a way of providing information can be beneficial for them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. Ideas are relevant, such as the mention of hyperactive children and the need for motivation. However, the development is somewhat limited; the arguments rely on generalisations rather than deep analysis. For instance, the link between 'hyperactive children' and 'academic performance' is a good start but could be expanded with more specific pedagogical reasoning. The conclusion is brief and merely restates the main point without synthesising the arguments effectively. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with more nuanced explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organised into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'Firstly', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally repetitive. For example, the phrase 'the learning process' is used multiple times in close proximity. The progression of ideas is generally smooth, but the connection between the second and third paragraphs could be more fluid. Overall, the structure is functional and supports the development of the argument, meeting the requirements for a band 6.5 or 7.0 level of organisation.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the student to express their opinions clearly. There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, such as 'initiative', 'restructure', and 'reception process'. However, there are some inaccuracies in collocation and word choice, such as 'school often abrupt this process' (should be 'interrupts') and 'play something related with actual topic' (should be 'play games related to the topic'). While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more precise control over word forms and collocations to reach the higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'who only start their school education' (should be 'are starting'), 'children go to school not on their own initiative' (awkward phrasing), and 'If children will play' (should be 'If children play'). Punctuation is generally correct, but the control over verb tenses and conditional structures is inconsistent. While the meaning is always clear, the frequency of these minor errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Increasing the variety of error-free complex sentences would significantly improve the score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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