Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In modern era formal learning is a necessary part of children's life. There is considerable debate that primary school focuses more on academics others argue that play should be included in school's curriculum. From my perspective formal learning and play should be balanced with equal importance.

On the one hand, there is a common perception among the people that the structured way of learning provide substantial growth and personal development of an individual. Additionally, it gives significant contribution to make children more discipline. For example, in a newsletter published by the agency of child development it is seen that children who indulged more in academics and formal learning being more successful in their later life. Moreover, formal learning comes under the traditional way of teaching therefore it construct children's mind more rooted to their culture. Consequently, formal learning is way more effective than we thought despite being outdated in particular manner.

Furthermore, play is an important part of the child mental and physical wellbeing. There is certain method describe in novels that how play can impact on an individual brain health. Meanwhile, children nowadays learn from various methods in which play is crucial and facilitates good sense of humor in children. For instance, in certain publication from neuroscience department of Hungary it is demonstrated that involvement in extra curricular activities such as music, sports and so on helps children overall development rather that one sided professional development. As a result in complete growth of child co-curricular activities must be included as a part of primary school.

In conclusion, i firmly believe that academics and extra-curricular activities both play essential role in overall growth of children. However, it can be maintain by specific balanced approach for both.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed both parts of the prompt: the extent to which primary schools focus on formal learning and the importance of play. Your position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, your reference to a 'newsletter published by the agency of child development' is vague and lacks specific detail to make the argument compelling. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting examples are more concrete and fully explained. While the response covers all requirements, the depth of analysis remains at a general level, preventing a higher score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. You use cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'Furthermore', and 'Consequently' to link your ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is interrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'There is certain method describe in novels'. While the progression of ideas is generally clear, the referencing is occasionally imprecise, which affects the overall smoothness of the text. Improving the variety and naturalness of your linking words would enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'structured way of learning', 'wellbeing', and 'co-curricular activities'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'make children more discipline' (should be 'disciplined') and 'construct children's mind' (should be 'shape'). Additionally, some phrases are repetitive or slightly unnatural, such as 'one sided professional development'. To improve, focus on using collocations more accurately and expanding your range of academic vocabulary to express complex ideas with greater precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is a positive step. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('formal learning... provide substantial growth'), article usage ('in modern era'), and tense/form errors ('There is certain method describe'). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points, they are frequent enough to impact the overall fluency. To achieve a higher band, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and ensuring that complex sentence structures are constructed correctly.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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