Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Many people believe that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal learning. I agree with this view because some children, especially highly active ones, may find it difficult to concentrate on theoretical material when they do not yet understand its purpose. Furthermore, I believe that games and other interactive activities should be included in the curriculum because they can motivate children to participate more actively in the learning process.

Firstly, formal learning can be difficult for some children, especially for highly active pupils and those who are just beginning their school education. As they are not yet accustomed to prolonged periods of formal study, they may struggle to remain focused and absorb new material. In addition, young children may not yet have intrinsic motivation to learn theoretical content. For example, the academic performance of highly active children may suffer because of difficulties with concentration, even though they may be perfectly capable academically.

Secondly, including interactive activities such as games can make young students more engaged in the learning process. It is natural for children to explore the world and social relationships through play, while formal schooling can sometimes interrupt this process by placing too much emphasis on theoretical subjects. If children take part in games related to the topic being studied, they may process and retain information more effectively. For example, many primary school teachers in Russia use educational games to help pupils understand new concepts in a new accessible and memorable way.

In conclusion, I believe that primary schools should not rely too heavily on formal learning. While basic academic skills are essential, play and interactive activities are equally important because they help young children remain engaged and understand the material more effectively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt clearly. You have taken a consistent position regarding the over-emphasis on formal learning and provided a logical argument for the importance of play. The ideas are well-developed, particularly the distinction between the needs of active children and the benefits of interactive learning. To reach a higher band, you could provide more specific, nuanced examples or explore potential counter-arguments (e.g., the necessity of foundational literacy) to demonstrate a more sophisticated level of critical thinking. Overall, the response is focused and directly answers the question asked.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two distinct body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a clear central theme. You use cohesive devices like 'Furthermore', 'Firstly', 'In addition', and 'In conclusion' effectively to guide the reader through your argument. The progression of ideas is smooth and easy to follow. To improve, you could vary your linking phrases slightly more to avoid a somewhat mechanical feel, and ensure that referencing between sentences is always precise to maintain a seamless flow throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary appropriate for the task, such as 'intrinsic motivation', 'theoretical material', and 'accessible and memorable'. The language is natural and conveys your meaning accurately. There are no significant spelling or word-choice errors. To move toward a higher band, try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations or less common lexical items (e.g., 'pedagogical approaches' or 'holistic development') to show greater flexibility and precision in your expression.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0

The essay displays a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Your control of grammar is strong, and the majority of your sentences are error-free. You use complex structures, such as conditional sentences ('If children take part in games... they may process...') and subordinate clauses, effectively. Punctuation is generally accurate. To achieve a higher score, ensure that you consistently use a wider variety of complex structures throughout the entire essay, as some sentences are relatively straightforward in their construction.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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