Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The issue of formal learning has sparked intense debate in recent times, with some arguing that primary schools are focusing too much on formal teaching. However, I completely agree with this statement because children of such age should not be pressurized and they should be encouraged in different physical activities. This essay will discuss some arguments to support my position.

The primary reason why I believe that young children should also focus on physical activities because children around the age of 6 to 10 are often leaned towards more theoretical learning and

academic syllabus memorization, which often leads to stress the younger individual and make him feel less confident. while academic knowledge is provided evenly throughout the year, including physical activities are essential for an young pupil development. For example, Involving activities such as sports once in a week would allow school children's to focus on both academic and physical health.

The another major reason is prevention of sedentary lifestyle. Schools which only focuses on formal learning would often causes trouble to a children. Consequently, giving homework on daily basis would lead an young children to focus only on academic progress and have less time for socializing. For example, a child coming home after a long school day and sits directly, for completing home work without engaging socially with parents and siblings. Therefore, physical activities should also be part of curricula along with academic studies.

To conclude, even though academic subjects are part of schooling, physical activities should also be included in the academic year for a complete progress of every children.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: it expresses a clear position on the focus of primary schools and discusses the importance of play. The ideas are relevant, but the development is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding 'sedentary lifestyles' is introduced but lacks depth, relying on a single, slightly repetitive example. While the position is consistent, the supporting arguments could be more thoroughly extended to reach a higher band. The essay covers all requirements of the task, but the depth of analysis is consistent with a Band 6.0 level.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central topic. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'The primary reason', 'The another major reason', and 'To conclude', though some are used mechanically or incorrectly (e.g., 'The another'). Referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences is occasionally interrupted by grammatical errors. The progression of ideas is logical, but the transition between the need for physical activity and the negative impact of homework could be smoother to improve the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific language like 'sedentary lifestyle', 'curricula', and 'theoretical learning'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'leaned towards' instead of 'inclined towards', and 'complete progress of every children' instead of 'holistic development of all children'. These errors do not impede communication, but they limit the range and precision of the vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('an young pupil', 'an young children'), subject-verb agreement ('Schools which only focuses'), and pluralization ('every children'). While the meaning remains clear, these persistent errors demonstrate a lack of control over complex structures. To improve, the writer should focus on basic grammatical accuracy, specifically article usage and noun-number agreement, before attempting more complex sentence forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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