Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued that too much attention is given to formal learning in primary schools. However, from my perspective, although learning is crucial for children development, play is also important in their lives. I completely agree with this view, and i will explain the reasons behind my position in the following paragraphs.

To begin with there are several compelling reasons to support this view. Primarily, primary schools are just focusing on academic instruction. Although structured and organised education is essential, but this can lead to lack of personal growth. For instance, the children will be having an health issues if they do not play in their primary school. As a result it will affect their brain development.

Furthermore, another point is that, the games are lacking behind in our country since primary school owners are so much into formal learning they are forgetting games are as much essential as learning. To elaborate this, Milkha Singh is one of the top most racer, he was not into studies but by racing he won Olympics for for his country, it also help children to have an physical development because they encourage them to remain active and interact with other. Thus, these activities can improve their physical fitness as well as their social skills.

In conclusion, although formal learning is very important for childern to focus on education, I believe that play is also beneficial and important for children growth because they promote physical activities and social interaction. Therefore, i completely agree with the given statement.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement with the focus on formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention health and social skills, the arguments lack depth and specific evidence. The example of Milkha Singh is relevant but not fully integrated into the context of primary school education, as he was an adult athlete. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting points are more thoroughly explained and directly linked to the primary school environment. Your position is clear throughout the essay, which is a positive aspect.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear introduction and conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' to signal the progression of your ideas. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing is occasionally weak. For example, the transition between the discussion of health issues and the example of Milkha Singh feels abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'academic instruction', 'physical development', and 'social interaction'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'games are lacking behind' and 'primary school owners are so much into'. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and a wider range of academic vocabulary. Avoid repetitive phrasing and ensure that your word choices are natural and appropriate for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('a health issues'), subject-verb agreement, and punctuation. For instance, 'the children will be having an health issues' is grammatically incorrect. Additionally, there are minor errors with capitalization, such as 'i' instead of 'I'. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and refining your use of complex sentence structures will be beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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