Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued that too much attention is given to formal learning in primary schools. However, from my perspective, although learning is crucial for children development, play is also important in their lives. I completely agree with this view, and i will explain the reasons behind my position in the following paragraphs.

To begin with there are several compelling reasons to support this view. Primarily, primary schools are just focusing on academic instruction. Although structured and organised education is essential, but this can lead to lack of personal growth and cannot be able to communicate with other peers. For instance, the children will be having an health issues if they do not play in their primary school. As a result it will affect their brain development.

Furthermore, another point is that, games are much more beneficial for childerns development because they encourage them to remain active and interact with others. For example, games such as football and hide-sike require childern to run, communicatee and cooperate with their peers, and they help younger childern to develop a wide range of congitive and technological skills Thus, these activities can improve their physical fitness as well as their social skills, playing games can familiaries childern with technology which is an increasingly important skill in todays.

In conclusion, although formal learning is very important for childern to focus on education, I believe that play is also beneficial and important for children growth because they promote physical activities and social interaction. Therefore, i completely agree with the given statement.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the claim that lack of play leads to 'health issues' and 'brain development' problems is asserted but not sufficiently explained or supported with specific, logical reasoning. While the response covers all parts of the task, the arguments remain at a surface level, which prevents it from reaching a higher band. To improve, you should expand on your points by providing more detailed explanations or concrete examples of how play specifically facilitates cognitive or social growth.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' to link your points. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is slightly disjointed, such as the abrupt transition in the second paragraph. Additionally, referencing is occasionally unclear, and some sentences lack smooth internal connection. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally into the next would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, but it is somewhat repetitive and lacks precision. You use basic terms like 'important' and 'good' frequently. There are also several spelling errors, such as 'childerns', 'communicatee', 'hide-sike', and 'familiaries', which occasionally distract the reader. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'cognitive' and 'academic instruction', the overall control is inconsistent. To achieve a higher score, focus on using a wider variety of synonyms and ensure that you are using words in their correct form and context, while paying closer attention to spelling accuracy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. For example, 'cannot be able to communicate' is redundant, and 'the children will be having an health issues' contains multiple errors in article and noun usage. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and punctuation, such as the missing comma after 'As a result'. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the frequency of these errors suggests a lack of control over more complex structures. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy, particularly with articles, plurals, and verb forms, will significantly improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.