Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some individuals proclaim that formal learning is majorly prioritized in primary schools than required whilst keeping them away from outdoor activities. I would strongly agree with this argument and this essay will explain the reasons further.

It is quite common to see that the traditional way of learning is being carried out even when there are other methods as well. The educational system tends to be less progressive when it comes to update the curriculum for primary schools and not taking into consideration that they are young and fresh minds who require a different approach of training. Consequently, affecting the mental health of a child. For instance, the standard pencil and paper learning restricts imagination that needs to be cultivated for a proper childhood. Therefore, a child would lack expression when expected to have one, it stunts the creativity level.

Secondly, it is crucial for a child to spend their time outside rather than being only in the classroom as it creates an environment for them to explore their thoughts and enjoy. Furthermore, sitting in a class for long hours stagnates their thought process, making them look disinterested. Moreover, children of that age are widely regarded as visual learners. To cite an example, it is often observed that school trips have a huge impact on their minds regardless of the presence of educational purposes. Such experiences etch in their memories which can be helpful even in the future.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that primary school students need to be nurtured by opting modern methods and not by focusing on formal learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that formal learning 'stunts creativity' and 'affects mental health', these points could be expanded with more specific, concrete examples beyond general statements. The essay covers the requirements, but the depth of analysis is more characteristic of a Band 6.0, as some arguments remain slightly under-developed and rely on generalisations rather than detailed explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organised with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'Consequently', 'For instance', 'Secondly', and 'Moreover' to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical. For example, the transition between the discussion of mental health and the impact of pencil-and-paper learning is slightly abrupt. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two main arguments. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that the progression of ideas within paragraphs is smoother and more sophisticated.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'proclaim', 'progressive', 'stagnates', and 'nurtured'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'majorly prioritized' (should be 'heavily' or 'primarily') and 'different approach of training' (should be 'approach to training'). Additionally, 'etch in their memories' is a good attempt at idiomatic language, though 'etched into' would be more grammatically precise. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text, such as 'is being carried out even when there are other methods as well' (slightly awkward phrasing) and 'not taking into consideration that they are young' (fragmented structure). You also have issues with preposition usage and verb forms, such as 'update the curriculum' (should be 'updating'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent sentence structure will help improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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