Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. While others believe that it is also important for children to play as well as formal learning.

Firstly, in formal learning teachers discuss about the topic with children in the classroom, although they tell about advantages and disadvantages of the topic. The whole discussion is held under only one roof, sometimes teachers also discuss some examples related to the topics which are for students for formal learning. Nowadays, many schools are focusing on only formal learning, which is not good for student’s health. They will become lazy, and this will affect their health. If primary schools will focus on formal learning in primary schools, so students will want to get rid of studies.

Secondly, in primary school children age and height are growing, so physical activities are really important for children in this stage. There should be a proper period for sports and games in primary school, because by playing sports children will be fit physically. And in games we have to play with tricks this will make children’s brain sharp. By being active students will be able to understand topics easily in classroom. For instance, in many countries (China, South Korea and USA) there is a sports or game period for children.

In conclusion, we have to make primary schools engaging for children, so they take interest in studies as well. If students will take interest in studies and sports, so they will enjoy school as well. And there should be some sports activities for students everyday, although in every country. This will also help students to take interest in studies as well.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. For instance, the argument that formal learning makes students 'lazy' is a generalization that is not well-supported. The response would benefit from more nuanced exploration of how play contributes to cognitive or social development rather than just physical fitness. While the position is clear, the supporting examples are brief and could be more effectively integrated to strengthen the overall argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion', but they are sometimes used mechanically. There are also instances where the flow is interrupted by awkward phrasing, such as the transition between the discussion of formal learning and the impact on health. Referencing is generally clear, but the connection between sentences within paragraphs could be smoother to improve the overall readability and logical flow of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. The student relies on basic terms like 'good', 'bad', 'discuss', and 'topics'. There are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'discuss about the topic' (discuss the topic) and 'under only one roof', which is an idiom that does not fit the context of a classroom. To achieve a higher band, the student should aim to use more academic collocations and precise terminology related to education and child development.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence fragments. For example, 'If primary schools will focus... so students will want...' is grammatically incorrect; the conditional structure should be 'If primary schools focus... students will want...'. Additionally, the use of 'although' is often misused as a conjunction at the start of clauses where it does not fit logically. These errors are noticeable but do not completely impede communication.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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