Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often thought that primary schools have the main object is formal learning, in my viewpoint it is crucial for students that they should learn formal setting. I believe that playing games is as beneficial as learning other subjects because it relaxes their minds.

One of the main reasons that primary schools too much focus on formal learning is that they think that schools are places where ethics and manners are learned with the main subjects as those have a vital role in living in a society. Teachers want that students should learn formal settings such as ethics and manners from their primary school as it is the foundation of people. When they grow up, they would learnt the basic ethics already which will facilitate them in the future. For example, teachers teach students that how to set among people or how to talk with elders. Students gain knowledge of ethics and manners, it ultimately help them in social life.

In term of importance playing games with the subjects are necessary because these help pupils to relax their minds. When students study a lot they are exhausted, they need to fresh their mind. They find playing games such as cricket and football are quite relaxing, then they can easily focus on their studies. For instance, when students have an extra hour to play cricket, they become relax and can focus smoothly on the study.

In conclusion, formal learning is the goal of primary schools because it allows students to learn ethics from the beginning which will certainly help them during talking or setting in the general public. Most importantly, playing games are the relaxation for the students.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development is somewhat limited. While you argue that formal learning is crucial for ethics, the explanation remains repetitive, focusing heavily on 'manners' without exploring other aspects of formal education. The second body paragraph regarding play is also brief and lacks depth in terms of educational theory or broader developmental benefits. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your ideas with more specific examples or nuanced reasoning, ensuring that the connection between your arguments and the prompt is more robustly established.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of your argument. You use basic cohesive devices like 'One of the main reasons', 'For example', and 'In conclusion' to link ideas. However, the flow within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing is occasionally imprecise (e.g., 'as those have a vital role'). The transition between the importance of ethics and the necessity of play could be smoother. To improve, try using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that pronouns clearly refer back to their intended nouns to enhance the overall logical flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'formal learning', 'foundation', and 'exhausted'. However, there is a lack of variety and some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'set among people' (likely meaning 'behave' or 'interact') and 'fresh their mind' (should be 'refresh'). The vocabulary is functional but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. Incorporating more academic collocations and synonyms would help elevate the sophistication of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('playing games are the relaxation'), tense errors ('they would learnt'), and awkward phrasing ('have the main object is formal learning'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent throughout the text. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, particularly subject-verb agreement and consistent verb tense usage, before attempting more complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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