Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Today the schools are introducing rules and regulation, and the unique dress code in their educational systems. And i am totally agrees with this statement as it is a positive change and it should be implemented by every school. This makes every student to be more oriented in their studies and more puntual in their school.
Firstly, the distractions of wearing different clothes each day in school is decreased by making a one dress code for every student and more time is now available for other activities like focusing on their assignments, classwork and class tests. Secondly, the strick shedule for classes and fine on more absentees, this makes student regular to their classrooms and presentations. By attending each class the students becomes more intelligent and they actively participate in every function at school. It is not only benefical for students but it help school to get good reputation in society, more people will admit their children to that school. I belives that formal learning motivates learners to focus on their dreams and making their family proud by good grades which is only by removing unwanted distractions in their studies and also in their life.
On other hand, not every parents want to give the hard time to their childern in their young age, because they are more sensitive towards their childerns and they want to give them good and easier time rather then pressurized them for a strick environment. So they pressure the ellite schools which allows students to do whatever they want. They are against the formal learning in schools.
In conclusion, installing oriented schools with proper rules and regulations have positive impact on our society and as well as for the learners too. Some are not favors of their due to their personal concerns. In my opinion this type of learning should be mandatory of every student in this generation.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt but misses the core focus. The question asks about 'formal learning' in primary schools and the importance of 'play'. You have interpreted 'formal learning' almost exclusively as 'dress codes' and 'rules', which is a narrow interpretation. While you take a clear position, the discussion on the importance of play is largely absent, as you focus on the benefits of strictness rather than balancing academic rigor with developmental play. To improve, ensure you address all parts of the prompt directly. The ideas are somewhat repetitive, focusing on discipline rather than the pedagogical balance requested.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes mechanical. You use basic cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion', but the logical flow between sentences is occasionally hindered by grammatical errors. For instance, the transition between the benefits of formal learning and the counter-argument about parents is abrupt. The use of referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the final paragraph where 'Some are not favors of their' is confusing. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring clear pronoun references would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on repetitive phrasing such as 'rules and regulations' and 'formal learning'. There are several word-choice errors, such as 'oriented' (used incorrectly to mean disciplined), 'strick' (spelling error for strict), and 'more absentees' (which should be 'higher rates of absenteeism'). You attempt some academic vocabulary, but it is often used inaccurately. To reach a higher band, focus on using collocations correctly and expanding your range of topic-specific vocabulary related to education and child development.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There is a high frequency of grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede communication. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('the students becomes', 'it help school'), incorrect article usage ('the unique dress code'), and sentence structure errors ('which is only by removing'). You rely mostly on simple sentences, and attempts at complex structures often contain errors, such as 'not every parents want to give the hard time'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement and pluralization errors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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