Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Formal leraning have a great option in the education on the Primary schools because students fresh mind for the formal studies and they werw more focus than the other studies.

I agree this opinion because some other countries people to be focus on the primary formal learning because they were important formal learning.For the formal learning students focus on the study and children play in the school and shows other activities they freshed mind with study.They continue study and play games in the school with friends and other acitivty some people agree with primary schools focus on formal learning.This is the great opnion in my mind becuse there are very benifits in the formal learning,we should focus on the primary school in the formal learning and government should focused on the primary schools and provided all facility.Studend should formal learning learned in the primary schools they matured and shows all activity in the schools.Formal study is the best opinion in the education activity.This opinion is very important because I think children play and learn in one place and know all activity and people. primary schools Teachers trained the students properley most of the countries is used this mthod and that agree in this opinion.This method is used from past and it is an sucessful method that is used by many countries parents should accept this method and children also like it.

To conclute, we should focused on formal learning in the primary schools because children matured and shows other activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response addresses the prompt by expressing a position on formal learning in primary schools. However, the development of ideas is very limited and repetitive. The essay lacks specific examples or logical depth to support the argument, relying instead on circular reasoning (e.g., 'Formal study is the best opinion'). The second part of the prompt regarding the importance of play is touched upon but not explored in any meaningful way. The ideas are underdeveloped, and the response lacks a clear structure or logical progression, which significantly impacts the ability to fully address the task requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay lacks paragraphing, which is essential for organizing ideas in an IELTS task. There is no clear introduction, body, or conclusion. Cohesive devices are almost entirely absent, and the flow between sentences is disjointed. The reader struggles to follow the progression of the argument because the sentences are repetitive and lack logical connectors. The text reads more like a series of loosely related statements rather than a cohesive essay. The lack of paragraphing and the absence of linking words make the text difficult to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary is very basic and repetitive. There is a significant amount of word-choice error and misuse, such as 'fresh mind for the formal studies' and 'they werw more focus'. The student relies on a very narrow range of words, often repeating 'formal learning', 'study', and 'activity' throughout the text. There is no evidence of an attempt to use less common vocabulary or idiomatic expressions. The frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'leraning', 'werw', 'acitivty', 'benifits', 'conclute') further demonstrate a limited control over the language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Formal leraning have', 'government should focused'), incorrect verb forms, and sentence structure. The response consists almost entirely of simple sentences with poor control over basic grammar. Complex structures are attempted but are consistently faulty, leading to confusion. Punctuation is also inconsistent, and the lack of proper sentence boundaries makes the text difficult to read. The frequency of errors is high throughout the entire response.

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