Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is generally argued that primary schools are more concerned with education than with physical activities for their students, and I completely disagree with that, as it is misbalancing the growth of children's mental and physical aspects as well.
Educated children play a vital role in society for the betterment of the future as well; for this, students should have a quality education so that they can be mentally prepared for their challenges in the real world, and for that, children should be physically fit as well for consistency in performance, rather than simply being weak.
Being physically fit can help children to face the new challenges they face, as it makes them feel confident about the results. For that, we, as responsible citizens, should make sure that children get proper physical training at their schools as well. For instance, physical activities at weekends in schools encourage children to be creative as well and reduce the stress of weekdays.
In conclusion, those who are physically fit and continue to acquire knowledge shall do wonders in society and for themselves as well, instead of simply ignoring physical activity and keeping life at risk.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 192 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you address both parts of the prompt—the focus on formal learning and the importance of play—the arguments are underdeveloped and repetitive. For example, the second and third paragraphs focus heavily on 'physical fitness' without sufficiently exploring the pedagogical value of play or the balance between academic and non-academic activities. To achieve a higher band, you must expand your points with specific examples and deeper analysis to meet the length requirement and provide a more comprehensive response to the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'for this,' 'for instance,' and 'in conclusion.' However, the progression of ideas is somewhat mechanical. Some sentences, such as the second paragraph's opening, are overly long and convoluted, which hinders the flow of information. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the transition between the importance of education and the need for physical fitness could be smoother. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus that connects back to the main argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on common phrases like 'vital role,' 'quality education,' and 'real world.' There are some instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'misbalancing the growth of children's mental and physical aspects.' While the meaning is clear, the lexical choices are somewhat repetitive and lack the sophistication expected at a higher level. To improve, aim to incorporate more topic-specific vocabulary related to education, child development, and pedagogy, and work on using collocations more naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are several grammatical issues that affect clarity. For example, the sentence '...as it is misbalancing the growth of children's mental and physical aspects as well' is clunky. There are also issues with word order and sentence construction, such as '...children should be physically fit as well for consistency in performance, rather than simply being weak.' While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to suggest a lack of control over more complex structures. Focusing on sentence variety and proofreading for subject-verb agreement will help.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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