Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people believe that primary schools need to pay more attention to academic learning. While I agree that knowledge of formal subjects like English, science or mathematics are important. On the other hand, I strongly concerned that schools should spare equal time to physical, social or creative development.

On the one hand, academic learning is helpful at every stage of life. If children practice this in their childhood they can have a strong foundation of knowledge. It is often said that, kids have more ability to pick up things than any other person. The pertinent example of this, if a child starts practicing mathematics in his childhood, he will be excellent in physics and algebra in his younger age. Same as read or learn at early age will obviously help him understanding textbooks or develop ideas.

Despite of all these benefits, children also needs equal time to other activities to develop skills or social behavior. Its extremely important for their growth. For Instance, a child who spends more time remembering facts or completing worksheets may have fewer options to develop communication or team work skills. These skills are as essential as learning to grow in life.

In my opinion, academic learning is the important part but it should not be the only focus. A balanced approach combines both academic learning or personal development.

In the conclusion, schools should prioritize both aspects formal education or physical, social and creative activities. It will help students to become more strong learners along with confident or all rounder individual.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. You clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain it throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while you mention that play develops 'communication or team work skills,' this point could be expanded with more specific examples of how these skills are fostered in a classroom setting. The conclusion effectively summarizes your stance, but the overall depth of the argument is slightly thin, which prevents it from reaching the higher bands. To improve, ensure that each supporting point is fully explored with concrete examples or logical consequences.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central theme. You use basic cohesive devices like 'On the one hand,' 'Despite of all these benefits,' and 'In my opinion' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'Same as read or learn at early age,' which disrupts the flow. Additionally, the use of referencing is occasionally unclear, and the connection between sentences could be smoother. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensure that the relationship between sentences is explicitly clear to the reader without relying on repetitive structures.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'foundation of knowledge,' 'pertinent example,' and 'all rounder individual.' However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and minor collocation errors, such as 'younger age' (should be 'younger years') and 'more strong learners' (should be 'stronger learners'). The phrase 'Despite of' is also a common error; it should simply be 'Despite' or 'In spite of.' While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the sophistication and precision required for higher band scores. Expanding your repertoire of academic collocations would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('children also needs') and awkward phrasing ('Same as read or learn at early age will obviously help him understanding'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some errors in sentence boundaries, such as starting a sentence with 'On the other hand' after a fragment. To reach a higher band, you need to increase the frequency of error-free complex sentences and ensure better control over basic grammatical rules like pluralization and verb forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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