Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is accurate that some people aren't agree about primary school teaching systems. I agree with the statement

In primary school children get pressure by their heavy syllabus. They lost their interest on learning academic books and sometimes they don't wants go school regularly. Parents also feel confused and pressure to handling their child. So it is necessary to children should include into some playful activities.

Children loves to play. By various gaming activities they actively learn many things in daily life. As an example, through tree plantation programme, children can how to grow a plant, how to take care of it, what is their life cycle, what is the importance of plants for our earth. By seeing practically the event they can learn about different types of plants, their name, some fruits names, flowers names. Even more activists, like real life works, as team work of making art poster of essential elements title entitled an ecosystem of fish pond. Children eventually likes to drawing and also by team performance they earn to adaptability with friends. By making friends, they can improve their communication skill as well formal learning.

At the very beginning of children's education life should be more exciting not too much study pressure that could loose their interest to studying. By several types of activities they can develope much interest on diversified topic that helps them to grow. Teachers should handel children as child not only as a student.

Childer is our future, so by more care and passion we should grew up them with courage to secure our future.

That's why we should be more careful that primary schools shouldn't focus too much on learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. For instance, the example of the tree plantation is relevant but described in a simplistic way. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more sophisticated arguments about the pedagogical benefits of play versus formal instruction, rather than focusing primarily on the emotional state of the children. The conclusion is a bit brief and could better synthesize the main points discussed in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the flow of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or repetitive (e.g., 'By... By... By...'). Some transitions between sentences feel abrupt, and the logical progression within paragraphs could be smoother. For example, the transition from discussing the tree plantation to the ecosystem poster is a bit disjointed. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'heavy syllabus' and 'playful activities' repeatedly. There are also some noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'don't wants go school' and 'loose their interest' (should be 'lose'). To improve, try to incorporate more academic collocations and precise terminology related to education, such as 'pedagogical approach,' 'holistic development,' or 'extracurricular engagement,' rather than relying on simple, everyday language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. You frequently struggle with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Children loves,' 'Childer is') and tense usage. There are also errors in sentence construction, such as 'it is necessary to children should include into some playful activities.' While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to distract the reader. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions and modal verbs in complex sentences.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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