Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

formal learning in primary schools are more focused which have been a debate among people. learning in the primary classroom is important as well as playing.

in the past when school were not providing enough time for various games to the students. the student used to get tired easily in the school and also in the morning they used to make different strategies to skip school. fast forward to now when schools are offering different and various games to the student in the primary schools students are now enjoy going to school. so, i totally disagree with this opinion. due to the factors that affect the students mental health. how learning is important for the student to develop their career playing is also important for them for their personality development , confidence, communication skills and also for their stamina.

when i was in primary school there was no playing time for the students and i used to cry for going to the school.my self confidence was very low and my self esteem was very low also my communication skills were zero. due to these factors my parents decided to change my school than i got admission in anew school where the school used to give extra time to the students to participate in their favorite activity and then after some time in that school i used to enjoy going to the school my self confidence was higher also my communication skills were improving. and all due to these factors my learning was also improve i started liking going to school and my grades improved too.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: it expresses a clear disagreement with the idea that schools focus too much on formal learning and explains the importance of play. However, the development is somewhat limited. While you provide a personal anecdote, the argument could be strengthened by discussing broader educational benefits or societal impacts rather than relying solely on personal experience. The position is clear throughout, but the depth of analysis is restricted by the informal tone and repetitive structure. To reach a higher band, ensure that ideas are expanded with more academic reasoning and objective evidence.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by a lack of cohesive devices. Many sentences are disjointed, and the transition between ideas is often abrupt. For example, the shift from the general argument to your personal experience lacks a clear linking phrase. The use of referencing is also weak; pronouns are sometimes used without clear antecedents. To improve, you should use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'in contrast') to guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, which limits the ability to convey complex ideas. Phrases like 'my communication skills were zero' and 'my self confidence was very low' are simplistic. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'learning in primary schools are more focused' and 'my learning was also improve'. You need to incorporate a more academic range of vocabulary and pay closer attention to word forms and collocations to express your points with greater precision and sophistication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'schools were not providing', 'learning... are more focused') and sentence structure. Many sentences are run-on or lack proper punctuation, making the text feel fragmented. While there is an attempt at complex sentences, they are often grammatically incorrect. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring correct verb tenses, and using punctuation to separate distinct ideas clearly.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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