Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Critics argue that schools focus too much on traditional learning for students enrolled in grade 1 to grade 5. I agree with this point of view because students are burdened with massive course work. I believe it is very crucial for children to play besides learning as it enables them to think critically in every aspect of life.

Children are expected to learn a lot of course work in a year. In primary schools, the children are developing their basics of concepts that they will use for lifetime . Moreover, they are pressurized with exams and are expected to get good grades because of which the formal learning is encouraged. This is the main reason that schools focus on traditional learning more than any other activity. For example, schools in Pakistan provide 7 to 8 textbooks of different subjects for children to learn in a year which burdens them to focus on studies only even inside the school.

I think playing is significant for students as it develops their critical thinking. Playing helps children brain storm new ideas to tackle with various situations. Physical activities not only help students in their brain development, but also maintains their mental and physical health. For instance, schools should encourage students to play with building blocks as it will enable them to generate new ideas and help them think critically.

In conclusion, I believe that primary schools focus too much on formal learning as children are pressurized with memorizing a lot of studying material. Furthermore, I think it is very important for children to play in classrooms as it encourages them to think critically in every part of their life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention the burden of textbooks in Pakistan, the argument could be strengthened by exploring the long-term consequences of this focus on formal learning versus the specific developmental benefits of play. The ideas are relevant, but they remain at a somewhat general level. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with more nuanced reasoning or specific, illustrative examples that demonstrate a deeper understanding of the educational context.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two main ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'For example', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For instance, the link between the pressure of exams and the reliance on textbooks is clear, but the transition to the benefits of play could be more sophisticated. Overall, the progression of ideas is coherent and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'burdened', 'critical thinking', and 'generate new ideas'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'brain storm' (which is usually a verb, not a noun phrase) and 'basics of concepts'. Additionally, some phrasing is repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'formal learning' and 'traditional learning'. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and avoid repeating the same terminology. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, but lacks the flexibility and sophistication required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are several grammatical slips, such as 'lifetime' (should be 'a lifetime'), 'pressurized with exams' (should be 'pressured by'), and 'tackle with' (the verb 'tackle' does not take 'with'). Punctuation is generally correct, though there are some spacing issues around punctuation marks. The majority of your sentences are error-free, but the range of complex structures is somewhat limited. Focusing on more varied sentence patterns and refining your use of prepositions will help improve your accuracy and range.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.