Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There is ongoing debate that elementary schools focus too much on studies instead of activites. In my opinion, I completely agree with this notion because this affects mental well-being of a children and physical health also.

On the one hand, why I support this view is that too much focusing on learning can destroy mental-well being of learners. Due to academic pressure, students can't be able to enjoy or engage themselves in enjoyable activites. As a result, they may fell pressured and experience health related issues. Moreover, a healthy lifestyle can improve students' mental well-being and reduce the likelihood of developing serious health problems. Just like stuies which is important to grow in a society, recreational activites also paly crucial role in a students' life.

On the other hand, another compelling reason why I support this argument is that this can also affect their physical health also. Playing improve physical fitness because it encourages people to be more physically active. This also reduce the stress by giving opportunites to relax and take a break from academic pressure. As a result, they amy feel happier and more relaxed and focus more on thier studies. In adittion, this also encourage creativity by giving learners opportunities to develop new ideas. This also sharpen their mind by innovationg more things and ideas.

In conculsion, I strongly believe that ectracurricular activites should be introduce to schools. This is because it students can become more innovative in their personal and professional lives. Also they may feel happier and experience better mental health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement and the importance of play. You clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain it throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive. For example, both body paragraphs focus heavily on mental well-being and stress reduction, which limits the depth of your argument. To reach a higher band, ensure each paragraph introduces a distinct, well-supported point, such as the role of play in social development or cognitive skill acquisition, rather than restating similar benefits regarding stress and happiness.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In conclusion' to signal the structure. However, some transitions feel mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is slightly hindered by repetitive phrasing. Additionally, some referencing is unclear, such as the use of 'this' at the start of sentences, which occasionally lacks a precise antecedent. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring clear reference chains would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several spelling errors, such as 'activites,' 'stuies,' 'paly,' 'amy,' 'thier,' 'adittion,' 'conculsion,' and 'ectracurricular.' Furthermore, some word choices are imprecise, such as 'innovationg more things.' While the meaning is generally clear, the frequent spelling mistakes and the reliance on basic vocabulary prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on learning the correct spelling of common academic terms and incorporating more sophisticated synonyms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader. Examples include 'can't be able to,' 'may fell pressured,' and 'should be introduce.' Subject-verb agreement is also inconsistent, such as 'Playing improve' and 'this also encourage.' While these errors do not completely obscure your meaning, their frequency is a significant issue. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct modal verb usage, and consistent tense application. Proofreading for basic errors like missing 'd' endings on past participles would also be beneficial.

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