Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-06
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
learning in the Primary school were the opportunity to enjoy and learned. However, majority of many parents nowadays are focusing on their kids to learn all the basic language. I paritily think that children should have to play and enjoy their childhood as well as learn in the primary school classroom.
To commence, kids should always have to learned a many different language in their childhood. Despite, many local primary school were trying to enjoying the child life with playing games and making a funny drama in their classroom so it were giving a lifetime memories. on account of, in many country they are trying to more focus to much on formal learning a new subject and to many category. For Instance, in the country India, all the Fathers' always are trying to make better understanding in the beginning life on it. Furthermore, many people they are making a lots of peresu on their child to learn from a initiate their life.
on the other hand, playing a games in childhood it's also are having a significant role as well as doing friendship with all the members in their class it giving many important in their perspective for a daily routine. as a result, many parents' today giving a chance to enjoying their life when they came a their first level to begin. not only learning but also making fun with all the classmate. For Example, in Japan many fathers' they not try to learn at the primary level but they always tell that when a children will growing on secondary school level so it have to learning many things in their own life.
To councusion, people should always have to give an freedom to their child in primary level. at the end they try to enjoyed their life in perime rather than to focusing to learn.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is limited. The arguments are often repetitive and lack clear logical progression. For instance, the mention of 'Fathers' in India and Japan is somewhat tangential and does not effectively support the argument about primary school curricula. The position is stated in the introduction but becomes blurred throughout the body paragraphs due to unclear phrasing and a lack of specific, relevant examples. To improve, focus on developing one clear idea per paragraph with more precise supporting evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the internal structure is weak. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To commence', 'on the other hand', and 'To councusion', but they are often used incorrectly or in a mechanical way that does not improve the flow of ideas. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. For example, the transition 'on account of, in many country' is grammatically and logically disjointed. The progression of ideas is not always logical, and the relationship between sentences is often strained.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and often inappropriate for an academic essay. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'making a funny drama', 'making a lots of peresu', and 'enjoyed their life in perime'. These errors occasionally impede communication, as the reader must guess the intended meaning. The vocabulary is repetitive, and there is little evidence of an attempt to use less common lexical items accurately. To improve, focus on learning collocations and using more precise academic terminology instead of informal or non-standard phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that affect the clarity of the writing. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'learning in the Primary school were', 'many local primary school were trying'), tense usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, and there is a lack of complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally discernible, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar—such as pluralization and article usage—prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. A focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement is essential.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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