Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-06
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The public debate that the primary education institutes works highly on the formal education but do not pay attention of the students extra curricular activities.
It is indeed a case that educational institues focus more on books then on the well being of students. Primary schools students can learn better from the games then direvtly from the books. It helps them to gain practical learning. They can play and work as a group. the games helps them to become more intrested in schools they will get more excited to visit schools and particxipate in extra-carricular activites.
I belive it is very important for the students to paly as wellas leran in the primary scholls classroom. they will get better environment to leran while playing games. they get excited to attend the school and bocome more productive in their studies.
Recent studies shows that primary schools which has a play room for students get better marks compare to the schools which do not have any paly room or game activities. Those students also become more energetic and participate in more
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you address both parts of the prompt—the focus on formal learning and the importance of play—the arguments are underdeveloped and repetitive. You mention that games help with practical learning and group work, but these points are not supported with sufficient detail or concrete examples. To improve, you must expand your paragraphs by explaining the 'why' and 'how' behind your claims and ensure the essay reaches the required length to allow for a full discussion of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into short paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is limited. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link sentences and ideas effectively. For example, the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is abrupt. You rely on simple sentence structures, and the lack of logical connectors (such as 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'in addition') makes the flow feel mechanical. To achieve a higher band, focus on using a wider range of linking words to create a smoother transition between your arguments and ensure each paragraph has a clear, central topic sentence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, often relying on simple terms like 'books', 'games', and 'schools'. There are several spelling errors, such as 'institues', 'direvtly', 'intrested', 'particxipate', 'extra-carricular', 'belive', 'paly', and 'leran', which occasionally impede readability. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to discuss the topic with precision. To improve, try to incorporate more academic collocations and topic-specific terminology, such as 'pedagogical approach', 'holistic development', or 'cognitive engagement', and pay closer attention to your spelling during the proofreading stage.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that affect the clarity of your writing. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'institutes works', 'games helps') and incorrect word forms (e.g., 'primary schools students'). Sentence structures are predominantly simple, with very few attempts at complex sentences. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with capitalization and sentence boundaries. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree, and practicing the use of complex structures like relative clauses or conditional sentences to add variety to your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.