Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people believe that primary schools concentrate more on academic subjects, while they also think for children to play is equally important. I agree with this opinion that elementary schools should not mainly attention on academic subjects because other activities should be balanced as these build social skills and physical development.

On the one hand, study related subjects provide builds foundation of each subject to students because they will be able to understand higher level of subjects. They learn different subjects in class such as reading, mathematics and writing. When they learn how to solve mathematics problems, they can easily understand the broad topics like trigonometry and derivation. Furthermore, they develop a habit of reading, which will benefit to their mind. They get ideas from the books and learn variety of vocabulary to build a good essay writing. If they good enough in these tasks, they may create opportunities for themselves. These subjects will make roadmap for their future because they develop their basics of courses. Therefore, formal subjects create conceptual basis and provides long term benefits.

On the other hand, playing activities also play a significant role in child’s life because these activities may interact with different people, and also you become physically fit. When children play different sports such as, cricket and badminton with different grades of kids. They may create bond and become friends with them during play. Furthermore, they may understand the importance of maintain their body by playing variety of games. They may engage more in these to make themselves fit, which builds their habit to make a time for a play. As a result, these recreation make themselves socially active and grow their physical health.

In conclusion, Although English and Science related subjects provide knowledge, I believe that balance between formal learning and play build child’s physical growth and interpersonal skills.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.5
Coherence and Cohesion5.5
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that formal subjects provide a 'conceptual basis', the explanation remains quite general. Similarly, the section on play focuses on social and physical benefits but could be strengthened with more specific examples or deeper analysis of how these integrate into a primary school curriculum. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is fully extended with clear, logical reasoning rather than just stating the benefits.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'As a result, these recreation make themselves socially active'. Additionally, there are instances where referencing is unclear, such as the use of 'they' when referring to children or subjects. Improving the flow between sentences and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer back to their intended nouns will help improve the overall coherence and cohesion of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some relevant topic-specific terms like 'academic subjects', 'interpersonal skills', and 'conceptual basis'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'mainly attention on' (should be 'focus on'), 'study related subjects' (should be 'academic subjects'), and 'maintain their body' (should be 'maintain their physical health'). To improve, focus on learning common collocations and using more precise academic vocabulary to convey your meaning more naturally and effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt to use complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Examples include 'provide builds foundation' (missing article/incorrect verb form), 'If they good enough' (missing verb 'are'), and 'these recreation make' (subject-verb agreement error). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some issues with sentence boundaries and comma usage. To achieve a higher band, you should work on ensuring subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, as well as practicing more complex sentence structures with greater accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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