Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people argue that primary schools focus a lot on formal learning and do not spend much time for children to play. I firmly agree with this opinion and support the people who raise their voice for this matter.

The primary reason schools adapt this approach of focusing too much on formal learning is that they want a better result from the students. The schools which have students with outstanding results advantage them as their admission percentage becomes relatively high from the other institutions. Another big factor is that the parents of these students are satisfied from their child as well as from the school. All schools strongly want this outcome. Ultimately, they start pressurizing children by forcing them to spend their time in studies at school, give them a massive homework acquiring a lot of time which results in no time left for play.

However, opponents of this view argue that the motive of school should be on studies as well as on child grooming. In this stage of life, children must be indulged to sports and other activities. It is essential for children to spend their time in play as their brains gets to develop by these workouts. Study is a stressful thing which must be leveled to playtime for better health and grooming of children.

In conclusion, children are the future of a country and nation. Study is necessary for every child but it should not be the only part of their life. Their are many other careers apart from studies and childr

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, expressing a clear position and discussing the importance of play. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The first body paragraph focuses on why schools prioritize formal learning, which is relevant, but the second body paragraph is underdeveloped and lacks specific examples or a deeper exploration of the benefits of play beyond 'brain development'. Furthermore, the essay ends abruptly mid-sentence ('childr'), which is a significant omission that prevents a full conclusion. While the main ideas are relevant, the lack of completion and limited depth in the second half of the essay prevent it from reaching a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'The primary reason', 'Another big factor', and 'However', which help guide the reader. However, the referencing is occasionally mechanical, and the abrupt ending significantly disrupts the overall coherence of the piece. Paragraphing is present, but the final paragraph is incomplete, which affects the overall structure and flow of the argument. To improve, ensure that all paragraphs are fully developed and that the conclusion provides a cohesive summary of the main points.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'indulged' (though used incorrectly here, as it should be 'engaged in') and 'grooming'. Some word choices are slightly unnatural, such as 'advantage them' instead of 'benefit from' or 'give them a massive homework'. While the range is sufficient to convey the message, the errors in word choice and the limited variety of academic vocabulary keep the score in the mid-range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'schools adapt this approach' (should be 'adopt'), 'satisfied from their child' (should be 'with'), 'brains gets to develop' (should be 'get'), and 'Their are many' (should be 'There are'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the incomplete final sentence is a major error. While the meaning is rarely obscured by these errors, they occur frequently enough to indicate a lack of control over more complex structures.

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