Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. I completely with this opinion, because children need more opportunities to develop new skills . In my opinion, play should be an significant part of primary education.

Firstly, formal learning can create a pressure on young children. At primary age, children need a relax and comfortable environment to learn effectively. If they spend most of the time to their studies , they may become tired and lost interest in their studies. However, playing allows them to refresh their mind and make them to stay physically active. For instance, outdoor games can hep children to stay healthy. Therefore, schools should not put too much academic pressure on young children.

Consequently, play helps children to develop social and personal skills. Through group games, children knows how to communicate , cooperate and respect others. Additionally, creative activities can improve their imagination and confidence. For example, drawing , painting and team activities can teach useful skills while children enjoying themselves.

As a result, learning through play can make study more interesting and effective.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that previoulsy mentioned points supporting my point of view that primary schools focus too much on formal education instead of adding daily activities for young children. Thus , schools should provide a healthy balance between formal education and playing activities to make an education enjoyable for young children. Although , academic subjects are important but , children also need sufficient time for paly.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. However, the essay is slightly under the 250-word minimum, which impacts the development of ideas. While the arguments regarding pressure and social skills are relevant, they could be expanded with more specific examples or deeper analysis to reach a higher band. The conclusion is a bit repetitive, and the final sentence contains a minor contradiction regarding the importance of academic subjects. Overall, the task is addressed, but the development is somewhat limited due to the length constraint.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Consequently', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is slightly disrupted by grammatical errors, such as the awkward phrasing in the final paragraph: 'Although, academic subjects are important but, children also need sufficient time for play.' Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'cooperate' and 'refresh their mind'. However, there are several word-choice errors and minor spelling mistakes, such as 'previoulsy' and 'paly'. The range is sufficient for the topic, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. To improve, the student should focus on using more sophisticated collocations and ensuring accurate spelling of key terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'I completely with this opinion' (missing verb), 'an significant part' (incorrect article), and 'make them to stay' (incorrect verb pattern). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the placement of commas before conjunctions. While these errors do not prevent communication, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. Increasing the number of error-free sentences and refining complex structures would lead to a higher band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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