Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The growing prevalence of formal leaning in primary schools has prompted closer examination of its implication for individuals and society as a whole. Although some people support that primary schools should only focus on formal leaning, I believe that children should get exposure to both extra-curriculum and academic activities. This view is primarily based on equipping students with valuable knowledge and improving their employment prospects in future,

One of the strongest argument in support of delivering play or sports activities to kids is that students will enhance their knowledge. This is largely because in the early development stages kids are hyperactive to upskill their learnings. In particular, their front brain cortex is in adapting stage, creating curiosity among toddlers for deep analysis. For example: a peer reviewed journal mentioned that students who play any particular sport from the age of 3 or 4 years are perfectionist in their field compare to those started sport in their late years. This illustrates that kids have more capabilities of adapting into new skills, As a result, they can gain transferable talent. Therefore, academic institutes should promote extra-curriculum activities.

A further consideration is that kids will have wider options for careers. The underlying reason is that students can decide whether they want to pursue academic or skilled work field. This is particularly relevant when children are more inclined towards talent but they do not have right guidance. Consequently, they may become reserved and anti-socialized which can have significant implications for individuals. Taken together, these factors suggest that combining studies with play is substantially important for students.

In conclusion, although formal learning has own importance, I believe that primary school classroom must be play friendly. This is mainly due to developmental benefits and bright future prospects, which together suggest that kids may benefit from play.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. You maintain a clear position throughout, advocating for a balanced approach. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While you provide a rationale for the importance of play, the link between 'play' and 'employment prospects' in the second body paragraph is slightly tenuous and could be more explicitly explained. Additionally, the example regarding the 'peer reviewed journal' is vague and lacks specific detail, which limits the depth of your argument. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting examples are more concrete and directly tied to the specific benefits of play in a primary school setting.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'One of the strongest argument', 'A further consideration', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, there are instances where the flow is slightly mechanical, and some transitions feel a bit forced. For example, the connection between 'front brain cortex' and 'transferable talent' is not entirely smooth. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and each paragraph has a central topic. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that the logical progression between sentences is more natural and less reliant on standard linking phrases.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your ideas clearly. There are attempts to use less common items such as 'prevalence', 'transferable talent', and 'anti-socialized'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'hyperactive to upskill their learnings' and 'formal leaning' (which should be 'learning'). The phrase 'perfectionist in their field' is also slightly misused in this context. While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on precise collocations and ensuring correct word forms will significantly enhance your lexical score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'One of the strongest argument' (should be 'arguments'), 'formal learning has own importance' (missing an article), and 'compare to those started sport' (should be 'compared to those who started'). Punctuation is generally functional, though there are some comma splices and minor errors in sentence construction. While the meaning is always clear, the frequency of these small errors suggests that you have not yet achieved the level of control required for a higher band. Increasing your focus on subject-verb agreement and article usage will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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