Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Most of the people argue that primary schools focus too much on traditional learning while, i completely disagree with this statement because it is important for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom as a results it gives more career opportunities and broad learning skills.

Now a days, It is very important for the youth to play as well as learn in school because not every minors are good at study and not a knowledge about too much career or future goals so, if they teach in way of formal learning they do not discovery of himself interest. For instance, In China most of the children learn while studying doing a practical experiments like innovation of new toys, robot moreover various kinds of product so they get to know what their interest is on and choose career according to this.

Another advantage of this is they gets a knowledge of broad learning in a sense, skills of all things that can help in general life obstacles for examples, if they get knowledge of swimming it is helpful for them to survive in that particular situation. Another example is that if they are playing games it is useful activities for them to be fit and healthy for their body in another way helpful for them therefore schools have to change their teaching styles in a way to benefit for children.

In a conclude, Primary schools focus too much on formal learning but in my opinion i believe that children have to more into play game as well as learn, it will helpful for their career and open lots of opportunities and youth also have broad knowledge.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, expressing a clear position against the idea that schools focus too much on formal learning and arguing for the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you provide examples like practical experiments in China or swimming, the explanation of how these relate to the core argument is occasionally repetitive or lacks depth. The conclusion is slightly contradictory, as it begins by stating 'Primary schools focus too much on formal learning'—which seems to agree with the prompt—before clarifying your actual stance. To improve, ensure your supporting arguments are more logically linked to your main thesis throughout the entire essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'as a results' and 'In a conclude' are non-standard phrases that disrupt the flow. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the second paragraph where 'not every minors' and 'they do not discovery of himself interest' make the progression of ideas difficult to follow. While there is an overall logical arrangement, the lack of sophisticated linking words and the presence of awkward transitions prevent the essay from reaching a higher band in this criterion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher score. You rely on basic terms and struggle with word forms and collocations, such as 'discovery of himself interest' instead of 'discover their own interests' and 'doing a practical experiments'. There are also frequent errors in word choice, such as 'not a knowledge about too much career'. To improve, focus on learning the correct collocations for academic topics and avoid repeating simple words like 'important' or 'helpful'. Expanding your range to include more topic-specific vocabulary would significantly enhance your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are frequent and often impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('they gets a knowledge'), incorrect pluralisation ('not every minors'), and awkward sentence construction ('if they teach in way of formal learning'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several run-on sentences and missing articles. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the text from being considered error-free. Focusing on sentence structure, specifically the correct use of articles and verb forms, will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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