Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argued that primary schools place excessive emphasis on academic learning. I partly agree with this view because, although academic skills are essential, play is equally important for children's social, physical and cognitive development.

On the one hand, the main reason why schools focus too much on formal learning? The first and foremost reason is to build basic academic skills such as reading, writing and mathematics. To be more precise, these skills provide the foundation for future academic success. It also develop discipline and concentration among students. For example, regular Maths and reading lessons help children develop essential skills before moving to secondary school.

On the other hand, second reason why play also important for children to develop social skills? The first of all reason is it encourages creativity and problem-solving skills. To clarify it, many activities where children learn through games and brain activities. which makes learning enjoyable, it also reduce stress and boredom because young children cannot concentrate on formal lessons for very long and it can make the classroom environment more enjoyable and motivating For instance, Groups games can teach children teamwork and communication while making the learning process enjoyable.

In conclusion, although formal academic learning is essential for building children's educational foundations, excessive emphasis on it can negatively affect their motivation and creativity. play is equally valuable because it promotes social, cognitive and physical development. Therefore, primary schools should adopt a balanced approach in which structured lessons are complemented

by regular opportunities for meaningful play.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. Ideas are relevant, such as the mention of 'academic skills' and 'social skills', though some points are slightly under-developed. For instance, the explanation of how play encourages problem-solving could be expanded with more specific detail. However, the essay covers all requirements of the task effectively, providing a balanced perspective that directly answers the prompt's questions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' helps guide the reader. However, there are some issues with the mechanical use of cohesive devices, particularly in the form of questions used as topic sentences (e.g., 'the main reason why schools focus too much on formal learning?'). These phrasing choices disrupt the flow. While the progression of ideas is generally logical, the transition between sentences could be smoother to achieve a higher band.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the student to express their ideas clearly. There is an attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary such as 'cognitive development', 'educational foundations', and 'structured lessons'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are occasional errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'The first of all reason is it encourages'. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey meaning but lacks the flexibility and precision required for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'It also develop discipline') and sentence fragments or awkward phrasing (e.g., 'many activities where children learn through games... which makes learning enjoyable'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some run-on sentences and missing commas. These errors are noticeable but do not significantly impede communication, placing the response firmly in the 6.0 band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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