Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There is ongoing debate that the primary schools mainly stress on formal education. I firmly convinced that primary schools are providing informal learning in parallel formal learning and there are numerous importance of sports and plays for children along with their education.

Primary educational institutions have been transformed in previous decades providing students with informal education including sports, plays, physical workouts, etc. Majority of children (5-10 years old) schools appears more like a park or a playground with proper recreational facilities creating interest and motivation among kids. In this way, primary learning institutions focusing on informal learning along with formal education. For example, my niece (7 yrs old) studies in a primary school which design looks like a recreational platform and she is truly fascinated learning his formal books alongside.

There are numerous significances of play for kids along with learning in their academies; moreover, physical sports, art plays, and play competitions contributes in the physical fitness, creativity and motivation of learning among students. These primary schools regularly held sports and arts competitions which further motivates that children and these attributes add value to their formal learning creating motivation, focus on studies and competition. For example, Ali (a primary school student) is motivated daily going to his school and his grades are also competitive as he participates in school plays.

In conclusion, the primary schools are focusing on regular academics along with sports and plays. This positive step tend students to perform excellent in their academics along with their personal development and therefore the importance of informal learning is crucial.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear from the introduction. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive. While you mention that schools are already incorporating informal learning, the argument could be strengthened by discussing the balance between the two more critically. The examples provided, such as the niece and Ali, are relevant but could be more deeply integrated into the argument to demonstrate a more sophisticated level of analysis. Overall, the task is addressed, but the depth of exploration is limited, keeping it at a mid-level band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. There is a progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'moreover', 'for example', and 'in conclusion' to link sentences and ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'motivates that children'. The use of paragraphing is appropriate, but the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to create a more natural, cohesive text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'recreational facilities', 'physical fitness', and 'academic performance'. However, there are instances of awkward word choices and collocations, such as 'stress on formal education' (should be 'place emphasis on') and 'art plays' (likely meaning 'dramatic arts' or 'creative activities'). There is also some repetition of basic vocabulary like 'learning' and 'motivation'. To reach a higher band, you should aim for more precise collocations and a broader range of academic vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. For example, 'I firmly convinced' (missing 'am'), 'primary schools mainly stress on' (unnecessary preposition), and 'this positive step tend students' (subject-verb agreement error). Additionally, there are issues with article usage and pluralization, such as 'the primary schools' and 'numerous importance'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and verb patterns would significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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