Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is often argued that modern education is considerably more focused on formal learning due to the competitive world to prepare the children for unwanted circumstances in future. I truly agree with this fact , however, play is an integral part of child; development as it facilitates in co-operating with the problems in an appropriate and innovative manner.

On one hand, the modern education frameworks firmly believes in formal learning by putting unnecessary systematic pressure on children and by memorization of things verbally rather than making them understand. Children are often subjected to rigorous examinations at a very early age. This rigid practice focus on grades and forces teachers to prioritize textbook learning over creative explorations. Consequently, children experience academic burnouts and anxiety even before entering the secondary school. Schools turn the learning into a chore rather than joy. For example, a student who scores 90-99% of marks in every exam may lack social skills such as communication and inter personal relationship and does not feel confident about himself.

Incorporating play into primary classroom is essential because it is the natural mechanism through which children understand the world in a better manner. When young learners engage in educational games or group activities, they critical soft skills like teamwork , negotiation, and empathy. For instance, building a block tower together teaches basic communication skills and how to be cooperative far effectively than a arid lecture. Moreover, a play keeps the child physically active and mentally engaged, which significantly enhances their focus during academic tasks.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that early education currently overprioritizes formal academic education. to counter this, schools must introduce play -based activities into curriculum, ensuring that children grow well-rounded, creative individual rather than just proficient test takers.

formal education

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt clearly. You establish a firm position in the introduction and maintain it throughout the essay. The ideas regarding the drawbacks of formal learning, such as 'academic burnouts' and the lack of social skills, are well-developed. Similarly, the importance of play is supported by relevant examples like 'building a block tower'. To reach a higher band, ensure that the link between the two parts of the prompt is even more seamless, perhaps by explicitly connecting the 'unwanted circumstances' mentioned in the introduction to the necessity of play-based skills like negotiation and empathy.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'On one hand', 'Consequently', and 'Moreover' to guide the reader through your arguments. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. However, there are minor issues with cohesion, such as the slightly awkward phrasing 'facilitates in co-operating with the problems' and the fragmented sentence structure in the conclusion. Improving the flow between sentences and ensuring that referencing is consistently precise would elevate this score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with some precision. Phrases like 'integral part', 'rigorous examinations', and 'natural mechanism' are used effectively. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'facilitates in co-operating with the problems' (should be 'helps in coping with challenges') and 'arid lecture' (which is a good attempt at sophisticated vocabulary, though 'dry' or 'monotonous' might be more natural). Overall, the vocabulary is adequate to convey your meaning clearly, with some attempts at less common items.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you show control over complex sentences, there are several grammatical slips, such as 'modern education frameworks firmly believes' (subject-verb agreement error), 'they critical soft skills' (missing verb), and 'a play keeps' (incorrect article usage). Punctuation is generally functional, though there are some spacing issues around commas and hyphens. Despite these errors, the meaning is never obscured, and the range of structures is sufficient to support your arguments effectively.

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