Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In contemporary society, there is a growing debate on primary schools focusing too much on formal learning.

In my opinion, primary schools should arrange balance with informal learning as well.

One significant advantage of integrating both formal and informal learning experiences in primary education is that it provides a holistic exploratory experience. Such an approach enables students to engage in diverse activities that broaden their horizons within the school environment, thereby enchancing their overall learning experience. For instance, primary schools in Indonesia incorporate community services projects into their mandatory curriculum. This initiative not only enhance students' understanding of social responsibility but also immerse them in real-life situations that require collaboration and problem-solving skills. Consequently, this method significantly contributes to the development of teamwork among young learners and equips them with essential skills for future challenges. Furthermore, it is crucial to recognize that blending educational lessons with play can facilitate an organic learning for pupils. Schools should prioritize outdoor playtime with natural sciences, as this fosters a deeper understanding of ecosystem concepts. For example, first-grade students in Singapore have the opportunity to explore local rivers to study the life cycles of the amphibians, such as frogs.

Moreover, it is significant to believe that children play along with learning in the primary schools has become an important issue these days. In my opinion I strongly believe it is an essential for the young people to disconnect from their academic life , and have fun.

In conclusion, it is clear that adopting a balanced curriculum can significantly benefit children's education from multiple perspectives. Schools must consider the value of integrating diverse learning opportunities to enhance the educational experience.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed both parts of the prompt: the extent of your agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. Your position is clear throughout the essay. You provide relevant examples, such as the community service projects in Indonesia and the science-based outdoor learning in Singapore, which effectively support your arguments. However, the development of your ideas could be more nuanced. The final body paragraph is somewhat repetitive and lacks the depth seen in the earlier sections. To reach a higher band, ensure that every paragraph contributes a distinct, well-elaborated point that directly answers the specific questions posed in the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'consequently,' 'furthermore,' and 'moreover' to link your ideas. However, the transition between the second and third body paragraphs is slightly abrupt, and some cohesive devices feel a bit mechanical. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the third body paragraph is quite short and feels like an afterthought compared to the more substantial second paragraph. Improving the flow between sentences and ensuring a more balanced distribution of ideas across paragraphs would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'holistic exploratory experience,' 'mandatory curriculum,' and 'organic learning.' There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'it is significant to believe that children play along with learning,' which is slightly unnatural. Additionally, there are some minor errors in word formation, such as 'enchancing' instead of 'enhancing.' While you successfully convey your meaning, incorporating more precise collocations and a wider variety of sophisticated vocabulary would help you move into the higher band range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this level. There are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text, such as 'this initiative not only enhance' (should be 'enhances'), 'it is an essential for the young people' (should be 'it is essential for young people'), and 'the life cycles of the amphibians' (the article 'the' is unnecessary here). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles will significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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