Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Overall development of each and every individal are important beside with the education. Many individal belief that primary schools are mostly focus on formal learning and don't focus of thes practical knowledge. I strongly agree with this statement and give the reason how important it is for children to make a proper balance with playing and education that I will discuss in upcoming paragraphs.

Commencing with the benefit of reason of primary school pay more attention on formal learning. firstly, they think education is the most important fator. To explain it schools think that development is only done by the education but that is not fully true other than many factor play a vital role for the overall development of each children. They, they should have to focus on to learn then new skill that may lee helpfull in their future. Secondly, Base for their life to explain it the primary education is the base for any children because of they learn things from primary school they help him alot into achive their future goals.

On the other hand, there is important to maintain a proper balance between play and education. Prime one leers fit healthy and rentely. To elaborete it, it is importat for any children to enged in sports event accordng to they intrest hence it help him alot for developmnt of thes growth. Nextley, Education is essential for good life. In detail, if a person look a good job the eduction play a utel role for thes jobs because of a well educated person has more variety of jube in thes feild.

To conclude, the complete balance between study and play is so importat for the overll growth then on many reason and such as education is important and core for their life. Yet, the benefit of playing cannot be neglected.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you state your position clearly in the introduction, the supporting arguments in the body paragraphs are repetitive and lack depth. For example, the explanation of why education is important is vague, and the points regarding 'play' are not fully explored with concrete examples. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, well-developed idea supported by specific evidence or logical reasoning rather than general statements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the flow between and within them is often disjointed. You use some cohesive devices like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'on the other hand', but these are sometimes used mechanically or incorrectly. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'They, they should have to focus on to learn then new skill'. The progression of ideas is hindered by the lack of clear logical links between sentences, making it difficult for the reader to follow your argument consistently throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often inaccurate, which sometimes impedes communication. There are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'individal', 'fator', 'leers', 'rentely', 'jube') and word choice issues, such as 'utel role' instead of 'vital role'. You rely on basic vocabulary and struggle to use less common lexical items effectively. To reach a higher band, you should focus on learning the correct spelling of common academic words and practice using collocations—words that naturally go together—rather than attempting complex words that may be used incorrectly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('schools are mostly focus'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or poorly constructed, such as 'Prime one leers fit healthy and rentely'. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often faulty and cause confusion. The punctuation is also inconsistent. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and proofreading for common errors like pluralisation and verb tense consistency.

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