Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Few individuals believe that children should devote more time on formal learning rather than spending time on other extracurricular activities. I completely agree with this statement because education is essential for future success and it provides long term benefits like skills, knowledge, career development etc.

Firstly, focusing more on studies helps children gain knowledge and the skills required for having a good career. Nowadays, good qualifications are necessary to secure well-paid jobs. For instance, the students who are good at studies often get admission to reputed universities which helps into shaping their future, while sports can only offer limited opportunities to a small number of students.

Secondly, sports have so much competition. Due to the high level of competition, those who are exceptional, only get to the top which makes it unreliable as a career.

After that, giving more time to studies prepares kids for imperative life skills such as problem solving, critical thinking and effective communication. All of these skills are very valuable in professional and personal life. Furthermore, qualities such as teamwork and discipline can also be learned through group projects, classroom discussions and other academic activities. Therefore, a good education provides a broader and more reliable foundation for children's overall growth and development.

In conclusion, while sports does have certain benefits, I strongly believe that children should spend more time studying at school. Formal learning ensures better career prospects and equips them with essential skills such as discipline, teamwork, etc.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, but the development is somewhat limited. While you clearly state your position, the argument regarding the importance of play is largely ignored or dismissed in favor of academic focus. The prompt specifically asks for your opinion on the importance of play, which you touch upon only briefly in the conclusion. Furthermore, the response is 243 words, falling short of the 250-word minimum requirement. This under-length impacts the depth of your arguments, as some points, such as the benefits of play, remain under-developed. To improve, ensure you provide a balanced discussion that addresses all parts of the question with sufficient detail.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' to link your points. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the connection between the idea of play and formal learning could be smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the central topic of each paragraph is generally clear. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that the logical flow between sentences is more sophisticated and less reliant on simple listing words.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'extracurricular', 'reputed', 'imperative', and 'prospects'. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, and there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, 'sports have so much competition' is a bit simplistic. You attempt to use some less common items, but there is room for more idiomatic or academic collocations to enhance the sophistication of your writing. Focus on expanding your range of academic vocabulary and ensuring that your word choices are consistently natural and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'Few individuals believe' (which should likely be 'Some individuals' or 'A few individuals' depending on intended meaning) and 'helps into shaping' (which should be 'helps to shape'). There are also minor issues with article usage and prepositional phrases. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct usage of infinitive and gerund forms after specific verbs.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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