Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning how important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom yes it is very important for the children health and when children take a part in different activity in the school they learn about sports man ship.I agree with the statement.
Firstly, mostly primary schools focus too much on formal learning because the children was not able to take a part in different activities in school it is very important for children to play in the primary school because children feel active when they play and when they learn books all time in school they felt boring and they did not focus on study but when they play a role in different activities in school they felt happy for children health playing is very important some students are good in study but they are not fit like those students who play as well as learn in the school.
Secondly, when a student play with their friends and then they learn about sports man ship and he learn about team work and they learn how to solve the problems and when they face hurdles in games and then they enable to solve the problems of life and when a student take part in any activity he becomes more confident and this activities is very important for health if the children are not healthy he did not take focus on books and when the student are healthy and energetic they learn better than unhealthy student and without play it is impossible.
To sum up, to playing in the primary school is important as well as learning in school after playing student felt happy and they gave a focus on study and they became succeed.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development is limited. While you state your position clearly, the arguments are repetitive and lack depth. For example, the points about 'sportsmanship' and 'health' are mentioned multiple times without being fully explored or supported with specific, illustrative examples. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand on your ideas with more detailed explanations and ensure that each paragraph contributes a distinct, well-supported point rather than restating the same concepts.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the flow of ideas is often hindered by repetitive phrasing and a lack of varied cohesive devices. You rely heavily on simple connectors like 'and' and 'when'. The progression of ideas is sometimes unclear because sentences are often run-on or lack logical transitions. For instance, the transition between the importance of play and the development of life skills could be improved with better linking words (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'Consequently', or 'In addition to this'). Improving the use of referencing and cohesive markers would significantly enhance the readability of your work.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for basic communication but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You frequently repeat words like 'important', 'play', 'school', and 'study'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'they felt boring' (should be 'they felt bored') and 'they became succeed' (should be 'they became successful'). To improve, you should focus on learning synonyms and collocations related to education and child development, and work on using more academic vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('children was not able', 'student play'), tense inconsistencies ('he learn', 'he did not take focus'), and punctuation issues. The sentence structures are mostly simple or repetitive, with few attempts at complex sentences. When you do attempt more complex structures, they are often marred by errors that can occasionally impede the reader's understanding. Focusing on basic sentence construction, consistent verb tenses, and correct subject-verb agreement will be essential for improving your score in this criterion.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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