Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

In contemporary education, there is a growing debate over whether primary schools place an undue emphasis on traditional academic instruction. I largely agree with the view that current curricula overemphasize formal learning, and I believe incorporating play into the classroom is essential for well-rounded childhood development.

The current primary education system often forces young children into structured environments prematurely. Schools frequently prioritize standardized testing, repetitive literacy drills, and rigid mathematical exercises over creative exploration. At a young age, long periods of sedentary study can lead to stress, reduced attention spans, and a loss of enthusiasm for learning.That primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

Integrating play alongside formal learning is vital because play serves as a natural medium for holistic child development. Interactive activities and educational games allow pupils to grasp abstract concepts more intuitively. For instance, using physical blocks or engaging in group role-play can teach fundamental arithmetic and language skills much more effectively than passive textbook reading. Furthermore, classroom play fosters crucial soft skills, such asplay alongside formal learning problem-solving, collaboration, emotional regulation, and social communication, which cannot be acquired solely through solitary desk work.

In conclusion, I agree that primary schools currently focus excessively on formal academic training at the expense of experiential learning. Incorporating play into early education is not merely a break from study, but an indispensable teachingplay alongside formal learning tool that enhances cognitive engagement, social development, and a lifelong love for learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position on the overemphasis of formal learning and explaining the importance of play. Your ideas are relevant and well-supported with examples like 'physical blocks' and 'group role-play'. However, there are some distracting errors where phrases are repeated or left as fragments, such as 'That primary schools focus too much on formal learning' and 'play alongside formal learning' appearing mid-sentence. These minor lapses in editing slightly detract from the overall development of your argument, but the core task requirements are met with a clear, consistent stance throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices effectively, such as 'Furthermore' and 'In conclusion', to guide the reader through your arguments. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two main points of the prompt. However, the cohesion is occasionally disrupted by the repetitive, misplaced phrases mentioned in the task achievement section. These errors make the flow feel slightly mechanical in those specific instances. Despite this, the overall progression of ideas is logical and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary appropriate for an academic context, using terms like 'contemporary education', 'holistic child development', 'abstract concepts', and 'experiential learning'. This shows a sufficient range for flexibility and precision. You use less common items with an awareness of style, which is a strength. While there are no major errors in word choice, the repetitive insertion of phrases like 'play alongside formal learning' suggests a lack of careful proofreading, which prevents a higher score. Overall, your vocabulary is precise and contributes well to the academic tone.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a variety of complex structures, such as conditional-like reasoning and subordinate clauses, which demonstrates good grammatical control. Most of your sentences are error-free, and your punctuation is generally accurate. The main issues are the accidental repetitions and sentence fragments (e.g., 'That primary schools focus too much on formal learning'), which are likely editing errors rather than a lack of grammatical knowledge. Because these errors are non-systematic and do not impede the overall communication of your ideas, your control remains quite strong, fitting the criteria for a band 7.

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