Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many people believe that early education focuses too heavily on traditional academic subjects. I completely agree with this view because young children need a more relaxed environment to grow. In my opinion, incorporating play into the classroom is extremely important for a child's social and intellectual growth. First of all, focusing too much on formal lessons can harm young students. When primary schools prioritize heavy textbooks, homework, and exams, they put too much pressure on children. This rigid system often makes students feel stressed and bored at a very young age. For example, forcing a six-year-old child to sit at a desk for hours to memorize math rules is against their natural behavior. As a result, children might start to dislike school, which hurts their long-term educational journey. On the other hand, playing in the classroom is essential because it helps children learn naturally. When children play educational games, they understand difficult ideas much faster. For instance, using colorful blocks helps them learn basic counting and shapes without feeling stressed. Furthermore, playing together teaches kids how to share, communicate, and solve problems with their peers. These social skills are just as important as reading and writing for their future lives.

Conclusion, while playing games we can relief stress, which makes our body to flexible and after hearing over 4 to 5 hours class it can may not flexible to your body. By, playing games we can go through it. Playing games provides a healthy mix of entertainment and self-improvement. When played with proper balance and time limits, games build a strong body and a sharp mind.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. Ideas are relevant and supported with examples, such as the use of colorful blocks for counting. However, the conclusion is somewhat repetitive and lacks the depth seen in the body paragraphs. While the main arguments are well-developed, the final paragraph introduces slightly disjointed ideas about physical health that were not fully integrated into the earlier discussion. Overall, the response covers all requirements of the task effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'First of all', 'On the other hand', and 'Furthermore' are used to guide the reader. However, the transition into the conclusion is abrupt, and the final paragraph suffers from some awkward phrasing and lack of logical flow compared to the rest of the essay. The use of referencing is generally clear, but the final paragraph's connection to the previous points is weak, which slightly impacts the overall progression.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally appropriate for the task, with some effective collocations such as 'long-term educational journey' and 'natural behavior'. There is an attempt to use a range of vocabulary, though some phrasing is repetitive or slightly unnatural, such as 'makes our body to flexible'. The word choice is sufficient to convey the intended meaning clearly, but it lacks the sophistication or precision required for a higher band score. More varied synonyms for 'play' and 'learning' would enhance the lexical variety.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While many sentences are clear, there are several grammatical errors, particularly in the conclusion, such as 'after hearing over 4 to 5 hours class it can may not flexible to your body'. These errors occasionally impede the flow of the argument. There is good control over basic structures, but the frequency of errors in the final section prevents a higher score. Punctuation is generally accurate, but the sentence construction in the conclusion is quite weak and lacks grammatical control.

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