Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Most of the time some students parents complain that primary schools mainly focuses on their academic learning rather than engaging them in physical activities .And i strongly agree with that .It is good to make students learn but it is also crucial to involve them in physical activities like playing.

In some areas the schools mainly focus on learners learning ability. Due to which some people argue that school do not allow children to play which in result causes health issues in the students .In our area most of the schools only wants children to memories their work and do not allow them to play .When i was child i read in a school which only thought us Urdu and mathematics and academic work and never let us to play .And i strongly agree with this opinion schools should let children play so they can be relaxed and allowing them they will enjoying their studies.

It is also important for kids to play as well as learn in the primary schools classroom .I strongly believe that schools should arrange various types of outdoor activities for kids to create a better learning environment for them. And also they should provide a 1 hour physical-training class for them at-least once a week

In conclusion it is true that most people argues about this problem that schools often gives more time to formal learning .But there are also some ways to improve it .I believe that schools can adopt some good strategies to overcome this problem by providing the a sports-day once or twice a week

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you provide a personal anecdote about your schooling, the arguments remain quite general and repetitive. To achieve a higher band, you should expand on the benefits of play—such as cognitive development, social skills, or emotional well-being—rather than simply stating that it makes children 'relaxed'. The position is clear throughout, but the supporting evidence lacks depth and specific detail to fully explore the implications of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite basic and sometimes mechanical. For example, you frequently start sentences with 'And' or 'It is also', which makes the flow feel repetitive. There are also issues with referencing; in the second paragraph, the phrase 'Due to which' is used incorrectly to link ideas. To improve, try using a wider variety of linking words such as 'consequently', 'furthermore', or 'in contrast' to create a more sophisticated logical progression between your sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on simple, repetitive terms like 'learn', 'work', and 'play'. There are also some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'memories their work' (should be 'memorise') and 'thought us' (should be 'taught us'). While the meaning is clear, the lack of variety and the presence of these errors limit the score. Incorporating more academic collocations and topic-specific vocabulary would significantly enhance the quality of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('schools mainly focuses'), incorrect verb forms ('never let us to play'), and punctuation errors. Additionally, there are some awkward phrasings, such as 'most of the time some students parents complain'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to distract the reader. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like pluralisation and verb tense consistency.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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