Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many people think primary schools focus too much on formal learning like reading, writing and maths. I agree with this opinion because young children need to play as well as learn in class.

Many people think primary schools focus too much on formal learning like reading, writing and maths. I agree with this opinion because young children need to play as well as learn in class.

First, primary schools today put too much focus on academic lessons and tests. Children have to sit at desks for many hours every day to study textbooks and complete worksheets. This is very boring and stressful for small kids. They lose interest in studying because there is no fun in the classroom.

Second, playing in the classroom is very important for young children. When kids play educational games together, they can learn faster and understand lessons better. Playing also helps children make friends and learn how to share and talk with each other. If schools only have formal learning without play, children cannot develop good social skills.

In conclusion, I agree that primary schools focus too much on traditional study. Schools should combine play with lessons to help young students learn better and enjoy school.

Second, playing in the classroom is very important for young children. When kids play educational games together, they can learn faster and understand lessons better. Playing also helps children make friends and learn how to share and talk with each other. If schools only have formal learning without play, children cannot develop good social skills.

In conclusion, I agree that primary schools focus too much on traditional study. Schools should combine play with lessons to help young students learn better and enjoy school.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: it expresses a clear position on the focus of primary education and explains the importance of play. However, the response suffers from significant structural issues, specifically the repetition of entire paragraphs. The introduction and the second and third paragraphs are repeated verbatim, which suggests a lack of careful planning and editing. While the ideas presented—such as the stress caused by excessive testing and the social benefits of play—are relevant and well-supported, the repetitive nature of the text prevents the essay from being fully developed as a cohesive whole. To improve, ensure that each paragraph introduces unique, progressive ideas rather than restating previous points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is logically organized in terms of its individual arguments, using clear transition signals like 'First' and 'Second'. However, the cohesion is severely undermined by the repetition of large blocks of text. This makes the essay feel disjointed and repetitive rather than a single, flowing argument. Paragraphing is present, but the inclusion of duplicate paragraphs disrupts the logical progression of the essay. To reach a higher band, you must ensure that each paragraph contributes new information to the argument and that cohesive devices are used to link distinct ideas rather than simply repeating them.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally accurate and appropriate for the topic, such as 'academic lessons', 'social skills', and 'traditional study'. However, the range is somewhat limited and repetitive. The essay relies on basic phrasing like 'many people think' and 'very important'. While the language is sufficient to communicate the message clearly, there is a lack of less common or more sophisticated vocabulary that would demonstrate a higher level of lexical control. Incorporating more precise academic terminology would help elevate the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a good level of grammatical accuracy. Most sentences are error-free, and the structure is generally clear. You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'If schools only have formal learning without play, children cannot develop good social skills.' While the grammar is sound, the range of structures is somewhat limited. To improve, try to incorporate a wider variety of complex sentence structures, such as passive voice or more advanced conditional forms, to demonstrate greater flexibility and control over your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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