Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some people believe that primary schools concentrate too much on structured academic learning. I completely agree to this statement.

Young children are sent to school not only to learn about subjects and concepts like addition, multiplication but also to learn positive social habits, and to attain overall personal growth. By sticking to a curriculum of formal learning, growth of young students is hampered. Learning should not happen through books and tests only but also through interactive activities, games etc which lets students understand the core of concept. For example rather than explaining what a fraction is by using number line, if a student is taught by using an example of cutting a cake into equal parts student would enjoy and understand better.

Playing is as important as learning in classrooms for primary class students. Playing is crucial for physical activity of children. Benefits of playing is not only limited to physical activity, especially team sports teach students importance of working together, teaches students to deal with winning and losing. Giving playing an equal importance to learning in classrooms makes students better persons by teaching them not being a sore loser and things such as reducing selfishness. Yet another example is my roommate grew in a very strict school resulting in more focus on formal type of learning, now he is very competitive for everything, he can't even accept a loss in a friendly match of chess.

Other people might disagree and say that structured academic learning is important for primary school students as it provides them with basic knowledge and prepares them for higher levels of education. However, I believe that too much focus on academic learning can put unnecessary pressure on young children and limit their overall development.

In conclusion, schools mainly primary should equally give importance to study in classrooms and playing rather than focusing too much on formal learning. Schools should implement

various methods of learning and follow recent research papers and studies on overall growth of young children.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed both parts of the prompt clearly. Your position is consistent throughout, and you provide relevant arguments for both the over-emphasis on formal learning and the importance of play. The ideas are well-supported with examples, such as the fraction-cake analogy and the personal anecdote about your roommate. To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are fully developed; for instance, the discussion on 'social habits' could be expanded slightly to explain exactly how play facilitates this, rather than just listing it. Overall, you have provided a balanced and thoughtful response that directly answers the question.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'For example', 'However', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate distinct ideas. To improve, work on the flow between sentences; some transitions feel slightly mechanical. For example, in the second paragraph, the jump from 'formal learning' to 'interactive activities' could be smoother with a more sophisticated linking phrase. Additionally, ensure that referencing is precise, as some sentences are slightly fragmented in their connection to the previous point.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'structured academic learning', 'curriculum', and 'overall personal growth'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are occasional errors in collocation and word choice, such as 'my roommate grew in a very strict school' (should be 'grew up') and 'giving playing an equal importance' (should be 'giving play equal importance'). To move to a higher band, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is always clear, there are several grammatical slips, such as 'I completely agree to this statement' (should be 'with'), 'Benefits of playing is' (subject-verb agreement error: should be 'are'), and 'he can't even accept a loss' (a bit informal). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor issues with missing articles and awkward phrasing. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions, and aim for more varied complex sentence structures to demonstrate greater control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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