Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

There is ongoing debate about whether primary schools focus mainly on formal learning. While I acknowledge that some cases it is particularly not required, I largely agree with the statement because better professional teachers with good academic knowledge provide better learning opportunity. These factors make the proposed view more convincing in most circumstances.

One of the strongest reasons for my position is that qualified teachers because they are well educated some of them consists of good knowledge. This is primarily because they can teach the students in very understanding way they are well known with student doubts because they seen a lot of students in their Carrers. I will give an example based on my true story I am very bad at mathematics I scored very less marks during my 7th grade when I joined 8th gradein my mind its running can I pass in mathematics or not but one mathematics teacher with knowledge he came to teach us he is very good at teaching he cleared my all doubts he helped me personally then I cleared my mathematics with distinction, it can result in positive way focusing largely on formal learning, which is particularly important for the group of people like me to achieve good skills and knowledge through experienced teachers. In addition, good academic scores help us to place in good colleges and provides wide range of knowledge. For example, one of my friend he is good at math's physics and chemistry which is important for Jee mains and advanced in India he scored good marks in his 10th grade later Narayana schools taken him to their schools for further studies example 11 and12th grade with free education. This illustrates that it is very important focusing on formal learning. Therefore, the evidence and reasoning support a high degree of agreement with the statement.

Another vital argument is that structured curriculum. This can be explained by the fact that it allows students to go through the variety of important subjects for their courses. Consequently, it allows them to experience the real-world experience. For instance, one my friend called Teja he studied in government school here in India the free education is not up to the mark their curriculum contains lot of subjects compared to my school this creates a lot of stress on students. This further reinforces the view that it's crucial to clearly schools should focus on formal leaning. Although the opposing perspective may have some merit, its impact is less significant when compared with the broader benefits or consequences described above.

It is sometimes argued that along with formal learning childrens should provide with better play area. This argument is understandable because it improves their function and impr. However, it overlooks the fact that [YOUR REFUTATION]. As a result, I believe that the original statement remains more persuasive

In conclusion, I strongly agree with the view that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. Although the opposing argument may be valid in certain situations, the stronger effects of strong curriculum and experienced PhD teachers make my position more convincing overall.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, but the position is somewhat contradictory. While the prompt asks if schools focus 'too much' on formal learning, you argue that they should focus on it, effectively disagreeing with the premise while claiming to agree. The development of ideas is often repetitive, relying heavily on personal anecdotes rather than broader analysis. The second part of the prompt regarding the importance of play is addressed only briefly and remains incomplete, as evidenced by the placeholder '[YOUR REFUTATION]'. To improve, ensure your position is consistent and fully explore both aspects of the prompt with balanced, objective reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and run-on sentences. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'In addition' and 'Consequently', but they are often applied mechanically or incorrectly. Referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly when you shift between personal stories and general arguments. The paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks a clear topic sentence followed by supporting evidence. Improving the flow between sentences and ensuring that each paragraph has a singular, well-developed focus will significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'good', 'very', and 'knowledge' throughout the text. There are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'in very understanding way' and 'well known with student doubts'. While you attempt to use some academic vocabulary, the lack of precision and the frequent grammatical errors in word form (e.g., 'leaning' instead of 'learning') hinder the clarity of your expression. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and avoid repeating the same basic adjectives.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are significant issues with sentence structure, including run-on sentences and fragments (e.g., 'One of the strongest reasons... is that qualified teachers because they are well educated...'). Subject-verb agreement is inconsistent, and there are frequent errors in verb tense and preposition usage. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often poorly constructed, leading to confusion. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect verb forms.

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